E-Paper
Success, freedom and peace of mind
Fear of failure, too, is quite plaguing. Fear of failure impedes the ability to try new things, thus starting a vicious circle of failure itself; risk-taking is after all an essential component of life; change, too, don’t they say, is the spice of life?
I have always had a need for productivity. Haven’t been ever able to just sit/be, without doing anything. It would be either school or college-work or interacting/ painting/ writing/ reading. Even if I would switch on music, I’d need to do something alongside. As a result, I have always been high on extra-curricular and friendship quotient – as everyone loves to interact. Then, sometime back, I read the book “Touching Peace” by Thich Nhat Hanh. Directly or indirectly, I understood from it that true peace of mind will come to me from being able to freely choose, what it is, that I want to do with my time. Freedom to decide, and mental situation peaceful cum collected enough to be able to implement that decision is a true treasure. (We all gather different things from different people, it is similar for books). Also, not to say that my hobbies weren’t beneficial, they always were and always will be. But, the freedom to choose, the ability to unrestrictedly decide whether to dabble in creative task(s) or not, nothing can measure up to that.
No doubt, there’s something magical about creative pursuits that sets a person free. But there’s something miraculous when we rise from the doing involved in these pursuits to just being (which will provide with the valuable freedom to do or not do). And this being will actually augment the creativity (both qualitatively and quantitatively) whenever the latter is pursued.
Now while we all truly want to just be, there are roadblocks like disturbing thoughts, worries, pending tasks and other constraints. However, if we learn to sit with these, letting them come and not try to overpower them, sometimes not even through hobbies, they tend to lose their control on us. It will require self-awareness, counted as one of the key components of emotional intelligence by psychologists. And it will require mindfulness. Add a pinch of discretion to that.
The peace recipe
Self-awareness: Knowing our own selves, not intermittently but continuously and consistently, is essential to both intra-personal and inter-personal harmony and mental well-being. We need to be in touch with our thoughts, feelings and even behaviours. While the last one is relatively easier to accomplish, the former two need patience and practice. Being aware of ourselves, our triggers and situational responses, gives us, overtime, a freedom to choose our responses more consciously instead of making instinctive reactions.
Mindfulness: This stems from self-awareness itself and takes us one step ahead, as well. It means observing and going further to accepting ourselves. Also, usually we fear being wrong. However, except healthy anxieties, to live an actually fulfilled life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. For example, when we pause to take a break or to gain perspective, our minds fool us into thinking that we are losing time. This worry – of unaccomplished tasks, of unmet needs and “I must do more” syndrome that we all suffer from, needs acceptance, even welcoming, and then gradual “rising above from”. That’s the crux of mindfulness.
Discretion: While it’s desirable to sit receptively with our anxieties and sorrows so they lose their hold on us, knowing when to act more for resolving them is equally important. Therein comes the need of good judgement. That is wisdom. If the heaviness is persistently increasing, it’s worthwhile to seek help for a more customised guidance.
Also, a mention about a “fear of success” that we sometimes unknowingly harbour. It involves being worried that we will not be able to maintain the success once we achieve it. Sub-consciously, we keep thwarting success/peace, sometimes at the very moment that would otherwise liberate us. Don’t let these fears bog down the spirit. Acknowledge, and attack them the way that suits you, by either nipping the evil in the bud or by slowly smartly working around them, or both. Fear of failure, too, is quite plaguing. Fear of failure impedes the ability to try new things, thus starting a vicious circle of failure itself. Risk-taking is after all an essential component of life. Change, too, don’t they say, is the spice of life?
A gentle push, a friendly reminder and a nudge in the right direction is something everyone needs once in a while. Please remember – self-awareness, mindfulness and discretion. Rest assured you will be totally comfortable.
