Malavika’s Mumbaistan: Crossed Lines and Universal ADHD

This week’s Malavika’s Mumbaistan column explores how a barrage of information delivered to us via social media and its notifications, and smartphones has led us to pay less attention to what comes our way. Read how no one’s listening any more…

The fact that we are receiving way more information than our little brains can possibly assimilate, is one of the great truths and tribulations of our times.

Malavika’s Mumbaistan: Crossed Lines and Universal ADHD

Day after day, from the moment we wake up, to the time we sleep, we are assailed with all manner of pings and rings and beeps and whirrs and texts and emails and notices from social media platforms and sites, in an explosion of details on subjects as wide-ranging as world affairs, the personal lives of our nearest and dearest ones, random gossip about celebrities, advertisers wanting to sell us a new home or an old car and spiritual mumbo-jumbo, philosophy and self-help messages, ranging from the pop to the profound.

Emails accumulate in our inbox 24x7; TV channels broadcast breaking news throughout the day and night and between Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, WhatsApp groups and the plethora of entertainment at our fingertips and on our screens –is there any surprise that the inside of most people’s heads resembles a dish of yesterday’s dog’s dinner?

Nowhere is this as predominant as in the case of those addicted to following the daily news bulletins as they break on people’s consciousness with the alacrity of machine guns.

Take the case of the video that went viral recently of the frenzied woman from Noida who was arrested for misbehaving with security guards and even assaulting one of them at a high-rise society in the neighbourhood.

Undoubtedly having a meltdown of epic proportions, the woman lawyer who is engaged with a well-known firm, can be seen hurling the filthiest expletives and gesticulating wildly (and vulgarly) at the hapless guards, threatening them with dire consequences, proving of course, that hell hath no fury as an upper-class memsahib who feels scorned by her building staff.

But given how addled people’s brains are with the constantly explosive news cycle in their lives, the fact that there are enough people who think that it is she who is single-handedly responsible for the demolition of Noida’s twin towers comes as no surprise. As was overheard recently at a city soiree.

“You heard about the twin towers coming down in Noida? “announced one social butterfly, who prides herself on her genteel ‘social activism’ during a lull in the conversation between courses at a tony Mumbai eatery last week.

“Seven and a half lakh square feet demolished in nine seconds flat, resulting in 35,000 cubic metres of debris” she cooed.

“Yes, I saw it on TV,” said her companion, an upper-class twit with his toupee askew, eager to hold his end up in the worthy discourse, adding, “And thank God they arrested that horrible woman who demolished them.”

***

Not only are we receiving way more information than we can possibly process or assimilate but we are also (naturally) paying attention less to what comes our way.

Take the case of Facebook, which in the rapidly evolving- by -the -nano second scene of the online universe appears to have been relegated these days to a ‘senior citizen status’ in the hierarchy of insta, twitter, tinder and reels etc.

Mostly awash with mellow angst and ‘touchy-feely’ sentiments, and Facebook is increasingly the place where PLUs find the space to express their empathy and kinder sentiments, in a world they feel has gone mad.

But of course this can have inadvertently hilarious consequences.

Take the case of the feisty septuagenarian, with a mischievous sense of humour, who recently posted that she’d had: ‘The toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis, then they gave me hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis….’

Naturally, her post alarmed many amongst her legion of friends and admirers and the responses flew in thick and fast , offering aid and assistance and wishing her an abundance of speedy recovery, quick healing and good health.

But of course, most of those who’d tripped over themselves to register their empathy and concern hadn’t bothered to read her cheeky post to its end.

‘It was the hardest spelling test I’ve ever had!’ it had read, proving that not only had the joke been on everyone else, but also that that ADHD is alive and kicking, especially amongst the golden oldies and no one has the attention to read posts to their end.

***

The slightly younger and restless aren’t faring better either. Another friend, a robust and popular party animal, found to his bemusement that a three year old post that had popped up recently as a memory on his timeline, of a terrible accident he’d met with (and subsequently recovered from) brought forth an avalanche of concern.

“OMG!!!” “Do let me know how I can help” and “Praying for your recovery” were the general themes of the comments, from his near and dear ones, when pictures of his grievous injuries and wounds and bandages were seen in the pictures accompanying the post, demonstrating the depth of concern and love to be found on the social media platform.

Except, it also proved once again, that no one’s paying attention to anything. Most of the who rushed to register their concerns had forgotten that they had already commiserated on his original post three years ago, when the accident had actually occurred.

Except one notable exception who had obviously remembered the original mishap that his friend had undergone, but in his haste to register his concern had missed that it was a memory that had been shared of it.

“ Oh, no!! “ he exclaimed horrified “ Not again!!!?”

***

No one reads anything. No one remembers anything. And if they do, it’s all a big mess of debris, rubble and wreckage in their heads as in the case of the Noida lady and her demolitions…