Use parental pressure as stepping stone before exams

The anxiety that students feel before exams is increasingly affecting their parents, a trend that can be attributed to cut-offs that have rocketed in recent years and given rise to cut-throat competition.

The anxiety that students feel before exams is increasingly affecting their parents, a trend that can be attributed to cut-offs that have rocketed in recent years and given rise to cut-throat competition.

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For students, it is no longer about fulfilling personal aspirations but proving their worth to their parents.

"Parental pressure, even if reduced, is inevitable. The first step to coping with this kind of pressure is to understand where their concerns are stemming from," said Dr Samir Parikh, chief, department of mental health and behavioral sciences, Fortis Healthcare.

Rather than withdrawing, sulking or alienating yourself from your parents whenever the topic of exams is broached, talk to them.

"Maintain an open and honest communication channel with them. Share your concerns and difficulties with them; involve them in your world," added Dr Parikh.

Often, your parents are anxious simply because they are unaware of your level of preparation or the effort you're putting in to study. In such a scenario, keep your parents apprised of your preparations, and be honest about it. Don't let criticism from your parents bog you down. After all, every person has their own share of strengths and weaknesses, their own interest areas and their own pace and style of studying. Set your own targets and be your own benchmark.

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"Listen openly to what your parents say; it might be extremely useful. But at the same time, learn to filter information and don't let expectations from anyone become a cause for emotional distress," said Dr Rajesh Sagar, additional professor, department of psychiatry, AIIMS.

Clocking in 18 hours of studying is not going to be the solution to parental pressure. Exams are no reason for you to withdraw into a cocoon. It's important for you to lead as normal a life as possible.

"Don't stop meeting or talking to your friends, and take out time to do the things you enjoy doing," added Dr Sagar.

At the end of the day, even in those high-pressure situations, your parents are on your side.

They have their own perspectives, their own aspirations and their own apprehensions, but all they wish for success and happiness for you. Let your parents be a part of your experience, and learn from their wisdom when you can.