Adam and Eve, circa 3000
Mankind has always held a peculiar fascination with what the future holds for it. Oliver Curry, an evolutionary expert at the London School of Economics, is the latest to look into the crystal ball, and clear the clouds for us. And as with all fortune-tellers, he has a little something for everyone.
Curry pampers our vanity and the human quest for perfection when he tells us what the best of our kind will evolve into many, many thousands of years later (when, naturally, he will not have been fit enough to survive and face facts). Men will be lean, mean machines and women as beautiful as Venus, he suggests, and all will have an average height of nearly seven feet. Keep those stilettos handy, girls. This evolutionary theory is the height of male fantasy. Bigger penises, squarer jaws and deeper voices for men, and perter breasts, large eyes and hairless skin for women — now where have we heard all of this before? The idyll setting for such perfection will be the earth itself — stop wasting all that money on expeditions to outer space.
The OBC issue will be far from over, if Curry is to be believed. The narcissistic pleasures of the above upper-class need not be hindered by something as banal as washing up after dinner. The dim-witted worker class will be at the beck and call of the more gifted, the more intelligent and the more good-looking. The scientific romance of HG Wells appears to have left a deep impression on Curry’s mind. May we suggest, for the next stage of his evolutionary studies, that he watch the gymnastic agility of Keanu Reeves in The Matrix.