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Dilemma about sex drive

I am a 34-year-old married man. Till the age of about 30 years, I used to have good erections but of late I am not enjoying it and this is causing discord in my marital life...

india Updated: May 20, 2006 19:51 IST


Dilemma about sex drive

I am a 34-year-old married man. Till the age of about 30 years, I used to have good erections but of late I am not able to get erection and this is causing discord in my marital life. The above problem is indeed a minor one compared to my other problems. Even when I do have (or had erections earlier), I am never able to ejaculate. The only times I have been able to ejaculate is during nightfall/nocturnal emissions. While awake, I have never ejaculated except on a couple of occasions when I came under some pressure (entirely unrelated to sex like pressure to finish a task on time) and only once when I was about to have sex and I ejaculated prematurely. Since I have never experienced orgasm, I don't know what it is that is enjoyed in sex. Apparently, this has led to a decrease in my sex-drive and lack of erections since there is nothing special to look forward to as far as sex in concerned. The greatest wonder for me is that I am not even a person suffering with premature ejaculation. As I know a bit about the exercises, which help in treating premature ejaculation, I would have tried them but my problem is not this. Why do I get emissions in night but not when I am awake? This is the greatest mystery for me. To me, it seems that my problem is more psychological than physiological. Please guide.


Sexual disability is disturbing

I am 58-years-old old. Three years ago, I had canal stenosis that happened to me all a sudden. I underwent surgery a month after the incident. Now, after three years, I am suffering from:(a) Drop feet (b) No feeling in some areas (c) Shrinking penis (d) Erection is very mild and dies away instantly (e) Very quick orgasm even without erection. What do I do?


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Marriage is OK but kids?

I am Jennifer, 23-years-old and about to get married. After marriage, due to some reasons my hubby and I need to stay apart for some time. But I love my fiancé so much that I cannot think of leaving him. Meanwhile, if I get pregnant then I will be forced to stay with my mother and I don't want that to happen. I don't want kids so soon. I want to enjoy with my husband before becoming a mother. Please suggest some contraceptives that can be used to avoid pregnancy. Is it safe to use condoms/tablets? I don't want to take any risks in childbirth. So, please guide accordingly.


Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
For a person like you who wants to be in full control of her fertility contraceptive pills are the best and the safest. Condoms also provide good protection but then you are dependent on the whims and fancies of your husband, as the condom has to be used by the husband every time you have sex. Pills are harmless and do not cause any problems when you actually want to conceive. You should let your fiancée know that you are going on the pill before marriage and consult a gynecologist. From the date of your marriage and the date of your last menstrual period the doctor will be able to decide the date for starting the pill and also ask for the pill which has minimum hormones.


No excitement after marriage

I am 27-years-old and have recently gotten married. Of late, I don't feel any excitement. I used to indulge in master beat before marriage. This is creating problems in my married life. Is there any cure for it? Do I need to use some spray or would it be better to consult a sexologist? Please advice.


Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
There is nothing to worry due to just three days of lack of excitement. Take it easy and use this period of relative calm for building up a good, sound and loving relationship with your wife. Woo her in everyway she likes and the excitement will re-establish itself. One should consult a doctor for problems in sexual functions only when they are persistent for months.