GIRL TALK: Singlehood, will you marry me?
The commitment factor is on the decline.india Updated: Mar 03, 2006 18:32 IST
Crux: The commitment factor in today's adolescent relationships is completely on the decline.
"Do you accept her as your legally wedded wife?" …"Uhh, Does it really matter?"
Really, forget the sloppy farewell numbers. Toni Braxton and Richard Marx suit your speakerphones but that's exactly where they must stay. Valentines no longer means the same. Yep, no knee-bend bouquet offerings and teary-eyed love proposals. If you get out of the red heart softies and the commitment threatening roses, you'll notice what we're really pointing at is that a simple 'Yes' and 'No' is what we've totally moved beyond!
Commitment today screams responsibility in a very negative manner. Talk to a college going girl today and you'll know exactly why she refrains from a steady show-off boyfriend by her side but a casual friend who's company she can have to her own, without much hassle of giving names to the relationship. "It's all in the mind," I'm told.
But here I don't get it. Attachment till some time back was good. Great infact! It was possession; security and satisfaction of knowing you have him all by yourself. Hell, commitment was a good word! But is this where insecurities, trust problems have really emerged?
Young girls have somehow found a threshold between the extremities of either being a groundless promiscuous "slut" and a completely attached, emotionally confined almost-engaged "girlfriend." She loves her space and her guy. So she voices out her feelings and stays where she really is with him, a coffee or a movie but all in the 'friends' name. Ask their friends and instead of that stereotypical 'They're a couple', you'd hear 'Yes they're good friends and they like each other'. So that's where it all stays. Somewhere between the platonic friendship, the know-no-bounds promiscuity and the official girlfriend.
But we wonder, are they shirking away responsibility? Yes, but for the good. When you have your space and you give him his too, he's basically just as unattached as you are to enjoy his parties, his friends and his likes, to have him live just as he desires with no bounds, no questions. But it is with his life of his own, when he comes back with the last goodnight call that gets the girl of today sleeping sound. You see, because she believes in having her fun too. So it's really not about matching interests, going to the same parties, doing the same things anymore. One can be what one is and yet feel loved and cared, in all the right ways. Who needs the words?
Not them. And not us. Finally, I sense this generation's open - to change.
Live-in is actually a lucrative topic for cinema; I think we're evolving. We're growing, all of us – to finally realize just what we want from life. And our wishes know no bounds, no confines of the society. We're out to grab it all, confident and free willed, but all on our own terms! Way to go gal, I say! What say?
First Published: Mar 03, 2006 12:01 IST