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'I don't want husband to touch me'

I have been married for about five years now and have a wonderful two-year-old son but I am not happy with my husband. I don't want to have sex with him or even want him to touch me. There are other issues involved...
PTI | By HT Correspondent
PUBLISHED ON JUL 27, 2006 03:28 PM IST

'I don't want husband to touch me'

I have been married for about five years now and have a wonderful two-year-old son but I am not happy with my husband. I don't want to have sex with him or even want him to touch me. It's piercing for me! Don't get me wrong. I think I am not in love with him anymore. I want to take divorce but I don't want to be the bad person in the whole situation. Moreover, I don't want to hurt him. He was in a real bad relationship before and this concerns me. I don't want him to hurt himself. We have had discussions about divorce and he warned me that he'd take our son if it happens. I want to be happy but at the same time don't want to hurt him. Please help!


Crazy about an older woman

I am 20-years-old, in love with an elder woman. The lady I love is 35. My best friend came to know about it last week and now he is against our relationship. He says 'the age factor is unbearable'. I am doing my 1st year of College. Although my friend is very close and will not leak this information to anyone else, I am worried how society will perceive it. I have always hated my girl mates in school, because they weren't mature enough. I told my friend that 'I love this elder lady's maturity'. But he isn't willing to listen to anything. I am ashamed of my friend's reaction. Is this relationship going to work out? Please help out.


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Flirting with bro, sex with hubby!

I can't be alone in the department of thinking about other guys. To make a long story short, my husband and I have had a horrible sex life. I don't know what happened. We went from having sex on a regular basis to having sex barely 4-5 times in a year. Yes, I said YEAR. Well, about a month ago, I was hanging out with his brother and I mentioned that I don't wear bathing suits because I'm not comfortable with the way I look. He told me that I used to wear bathing suits and he was able to tell me that he remembered me wearing a bathing suit 10 years ago. He was even able to tell me the color and everything. He also compliments me a lot and tells me that I have nice curves, etc. and I should be proud of my body. So, here's the problem. Now, I have major hots for his brother! And this has made me have sex with my husband 3-4 times a week and sometimes even more. Is it horrible of me to get turned on by his brother and then sleep with my husband? I'm not cheating. Lord knows I've thought about it. Am I horrible or is it OK as long as my husband is getting the benefit of the flirting? Please guide me.


Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
It seems your husband has lost zest for foreplay and role of compliments and has deprived himself of all the fun. You have hit upon a fairly novel way of fantasizing about the brother-in-law and restoring your conjugal bliss. As long as your private fantasies do not hurt anybody you have nothing to feel guilty about. Try and crawl back into one of the older swimsuits.


'My marriage is a business profit'

I have been married for six months. My in-laws organized the wedding in India since I live with my parents in the US. When the time came for my parents to pay them for the wedding venue and the catering, they charged my parents twice the original amount. My parents blindly trusted my in-laws and gave them whatever amount they asked for. But my in-laws took advantage of our trust. They did not even buy bridal outfits for me that I was supposed to get from them in my marriage. When I confronted my husband about his family's greedy actions, he and his parents blamed my family for everything. He called me selfish and greedy. I used to respect him and his family like my own. But, now I have lost trust in my husband because he lies to defend his family. I'm very sad that his family turned my marriage into a business profit. I feel so unlucky to have been married into a greedy, cheap family. My husband is still in India waiting for his US spouse visa to be issued. I'm not sure that I trust him enough to sponsor him to the US because after what his family did with us, I'm afraid he can do that with me when he comes here. I feel his family just used me as a step stone to come to the US. Please help me out.


Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
It is time for you to act tough when greed is staring in the face. You must not ignore it and get in touch with this husband and have a thorough discussion with him. You can demand details of all expenses and make it very clear that his paper processing is dependent on his very satisfactory replies. You should also make it clear to him that he will have to work and earn for himself in USA. You must let him know that you are not a desperate girl for marriage or a sentimental fool so as to give up all control of your life. You will be able to take a decision only after a candid discussion. You can always consult a lawyer for divorce.

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