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'I want to confess a dark secret...'

I am a 26-year-old married man. A gay man sexually abused me, when I was a kid. When I grew up, I had sexual relationships with other men too...

india Updated: Jan 11, 2006 15:52 IST


'I want to confess a dark secret...'

I am a 26-year-old married man with one-year-old daughter. A gay man sexually abused me as a child. When I grew up I had sexual relationships with other men too. Now, I am a married man with a family and don't have any kind of relation with men but my past still haunts me. Sometimes, I feel that I am not attracted towards girls and only like boys. I am happily married and scared to go for therapy sessions because I fear the psychologist might ask me to become a full time gay and quit marriage. But, I am fully committed to my wife and child and want to become a full time heterosexual. It's one big dark secret of my life. Please guide me. Haider

Wife wants sex only for kids?

I have been married from past one year. My wife is quite religious and because of this she wants to have sex only to have kids. But, we are not in a situation to plan kids. I am quite keen on having sex with her but am unable to. We both are suffering because of her religious nature. We both love each other very much and I don't want to leave her and at the same time I want to have sex with her also. I tried everything last one year from patience to love and care, including getting permission from her Guru but wife is dead against sex. What should we do?


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Sex drives my wife nuts!

I have been married for last 25 years. Initially, my sex life sex was satisfactory except for the last 13 years or so. Now, it drives my wife nuts! When I do get to make love with her, she does not enjoy it. She can't wait to get back in her clothes. Even if I am able to get her an orgasm she does not like it. She has threatened to leave me if I go to someone else for sex. Please help me.


Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
How come for your wife her books have become more interesting and dear at the cost of her sex life? You should seek counselling for yourself to know what went wrong at your end that led to her frigidity. In case you are averse to the idea of counselling, you should think honestly in your own heart and look for reasons for your own change in behaviour and temperament which could have been offending and serious enough to put a wife off sex. You can still make amends and rekindle the romantic flame in her. It is possible!


HIV through sex

I am a 34-year-old bisexual man. I have had sex only with my wife, among women, but otherwise I was involved with men too. I have never had anal sex, open mouth kissing, etc. My partners have performed oral sex on me but I was always wearing a condom. Is there any risk of contracting HIV? Please advice.


Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla:
You seem to have taken adequate precautions against HIV. However, to be doubly sure you can get a blood test done anytime.