Team Anna vs. Team India

For the past one week India has witnessed the tribulations of two teams, namely Team Anna and Team India aka the Indian Cricket Team. The Fake Jhunjhunwala compares the two...

india Updated: Aug 31, 2011 15:15 IST
Hindustan Times

For the past one week India has witnessed the tribulations of two teams:

1.) Team Anna
2.) Team India aka the Cricket Team.

One team fighting against corruption and the other fighting against a British invasion.

While the Test Series has led to a clobbering of team India 4-0 or Char -Shunya as it is described in Hindi, there is a solution I see for the One Dayers. The best part is its one that would solve problems for both Team India and Team Anna!

It's simple. Exchange the teams. Let Team India take over the hunger strike and let team Anna play against England. This way we fight successfully against corruption and simultaneously we get back on the winning track in Cricket.


It's beautiful because it solves 99.99% of the problems like popular soaps or toothpastes which kill 99.99% of germs.

The English fast bowlers have troubled the batsmen all series long. Team Anna can easily deal with them because they are experienced in dealing with anything FAST.

The government has been spinning different versions of the Lokpal Bill which has irritated team Anna. Send Team India to deal with the government, they play spin well anyway.

The Lokpal is technically complex to deal with which is why technically correct players from Team India like Rahul Dravid and Sachin Tendulkar can do well against its loopy legal bouncers.

Too many players from Team India keep getting injured or are just too unfit. This won't happen with Team Anna as both breathing Guru Sri Sri Ravishankar and Yoga Guru Baba Ramdev are involved. Sri Ravishankar's superior respiration methods provide constant energy to deal with English conditions while Baba Ramdev's Yoga ensures that fitness is always at an optimum level.

The British are always scared of old Indian men who go on hunger strike; they couldn't handle Gandhiji during the Freedom Struggle and there's no way they can handle Anna Hazare on Hunger Strike at Lord's or the Oval Cricket Grounds.

England's batters have piled on the runs against team India's hapless bowling attack. Team Anna's tactics would be to go on Satyagraha and refuse to continue playing till the English Team just gives in and declare their batting at a very low score.

So you see problems of both teams can be settled by sending one to do the job of the other. This solution has of course been concocted by the Captain of Team Jhunjhunwala= ME.

The Fake Jhunjhunwala is the parody writer of the popular blog 'The Secret Journal Of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala'. He likes counting money. He is a big fan of Samosas, Ice Cream, Pav Bhaji, Pizza, Garlic Bread and Beer.

His hobbies include playing Super Mario, Stalking Hot Babes and Watching B-Grade films to intensively investigate any censor board violations. He also watches Cricket and worships Sachin Tendulkar as much as he worships himself. Read more from him at

He can also be found on twitter usually ranting about Uday Chopra, The Universe and everything in between at

Follow us on
Connect with us on

First Published: Aug 24, 2011 12:54 IST