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Humour by Rehana Munir: The travel compatibility guide
Are you the happiest when you are travelling solo, with your partner or as a part of a bigger group?
I’m currently ensconced in An Enchanted April, a warm and witty novel published by the absolutely fascinating Elizabeth von Arnim in 1922. It tells the story of a quartet of unlikely travel companions who rent a medieval Italian castle together for a whole month in the summer. The four contrasting women, each of whom is escaping her own brand of boredom in cold and damp London, are instinctively wary of one another. But as the days go by, the hilltop castle bathed in sunlight, alive with flowers and overlooking the sea, draws them into a cosy friendship with one another. A particularly uplifting read in an age where we’re fearful of strangers and anxious about travel.
The breakfast saga
Travelling exposes us not just to new places and experiences, but more crucially—and unnervingly—to ourselves and our companions. The true test of a decades-long friendship is a weekend away. It’s rare that you will spend over twenty-four hours with loved ones without some inconvenience or disappointment interrupting the flow. All your carefully cultivated politeness unravels in the face of cancelled flights, violent weather or motion sickness.
It can begin quite innocuously, with X missing breakfast. Y might be uninterested in anything other than the buffet in front of her, but Z might ascribe hidden motives to X’s absence where none exist. Everything X now does is seen through the lens of the missed meal. Later in the day, Y makes their way unperturbedly to the pool with X, but Z decides to sit this one out, leaving X confused and Y awkward. And so unfolds a series of chess moves in the game called friendship, worthy of a Zoya Akhtar film. ‘Two’s company, three’s a crowd’ it is said, and I tend to agree when it comes to travel.
Mary Poppins v Squid Game
But do I really? Travelling as a duo is perhaps the ultimate compatibility test. There is literally nowhere to hide in this situation, especially while travelling with a romantic partner. You might share a roof, kids and a life together, but for that there are unspoken yet clearly established rules. What happens when you’re away, unprotected by the grind of routine and weight of obligation? We all guard our leisure time zealously, and so, if you’re of the staring-at-the-lake-with your-head-in-the-clouds disposition, it’s a real assault when your partner insists on a kayaking expedition or carrom championship. Of course, there is the inevitable give and take, but not without the equally inevitable resentments creeping in.
The day person/night person divide is the other big obstacle to travel companionship. While you wake up with the first ray of the sun with a Mary Poppins exuberance, your companion, who has spent the previous night binge-watching Squid Game, is snoring like Elmer Fudd after yet another hearty yet failed chase after Bugs Bunny. By the time you’re back from your jaunt, they’re all set to visit the waterfall, the monument and the local eatery, but all you want is a long bath, room service, and Pretty Woman on the TV.
Big group temperament
Solo travel, of course, eliminates all these compatibility issues, leaving you to enjoy a trip at your own pace and in response to your own whims. You can change plans without any guilt, and be as lazy as you wish. Unless, of course, you’re one of those
high-performing vacationers who checks boxes off a travel itinerary with perverse joy. In that case, you can make it for the yoga session at sunrise, chase those flamingos before breakfast, turn out the best lasagne in baking class for lunch, join the mindfulness circle for an hour of synchronised colouring and still have the evening ahead of you, like an Excel sheet waiting to be filled.
The best discoveries are, however, to be found in larger groups. You’re never short of a companion when you want one, while also having the freedom to disappear whenever you need to, without causing a flutter in the delicate fabric of a holiday. Whether it is a soothing walk on a gravelly mountain path, a shared love of reality TV or an intense bonding over ice cream, sudden and unexpected affinities are both disarming and mind-expanding. Almost as sweet as solitude.
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From HT Brunch, October 17, 2021
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