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Total rip-off: Are jeans fashion’s longest- running scam?
Our denims were supposed to be timeless, flattering and comfortable. They’re none of the above. See how they fooled us all
Is everything okay in the jeansverse? This July, American Eagle tried to tell us that Sydney Sweeney had good jeans (their racist pun evident in her blonde hair and blue eyes). Gap clapped back with a “better in denim” campaign, featuring multi-racial girl group, Katseye, dancing to Kelis’s 2003 anthem Milkshake. Cute song. Great choreography. (If we haven’t nailed the cat-paw opening step, it’s not for lack of trying.) But for an ad that claims to be inclusive, everyone looks suspiciously the same size, and in low-rise fits. Then Addison Rae went topless for a Lucky Brand shoot in low-rise jeans. Then, Levi’s enlisted Beyoncé in rhinestone-encrusted bootcuts we all swore off in 2006. Alia Bhatt is in the India campaign (in a sparkly, but thankfully roomier fit). Taken together, these ads prove one thing: Jeans are not your friends. They’re an acid-washed hoax. Here are the lies we’ve been sold.
Lie #1: Jeans are classic. We’ve been told denim is timeless. That a pair of jeans never goes out of style. That blue, particularly, is the OG. So how come the look of the moment, across decades, is either straight, skinny, bootcut, flared, baggy, barrel, ripped, high-rise, low-rise or sand-blasted? Denim fabric lasts years; but jeans, like iPhones, become obsolete by the next fashion cycle. Overnight, your favourite style makes you the worst-dressed person in the room. Remember Levi’s 501s? They were once iconic, now they look dated even on Hailey Bieber.
Lie #2: Jeans flatter everyone. Umm, no. They flatter whichever body type is trending. During the ’90s super-skinny era, jeans were cut so low they showed off a woman’s pelvic bones. When the Kardashians made big bums aspirational, denim invented butt-lifting tech. Skinny jeans punished thighs, low-rise required abs of steel. But jeans that are both tight and low-slung give even toned hips a muffin-top spill-over. Who wants that? A new cut is all the rage: The barrel. It flatters no one. When jeans tapered at the ankle in the ’80s, they looked terrible on shorter women. When they bunched around the ankle in the ’00s, they made short legs look shorter. Ripped styles look terrible after they’re washed. There’s no winning this.
Lie #3: Jeans are comfortable. Jeans are stiff, itchy, and forever sliding off or squeezing in the wrong place. Sure, they mould to the body with wear, but they lose that memory when washed. They’re too hot in summer, too stiff in winter, and torture when wet. Skinny jeans cut off blood flow. Boot cuts strain at the knee. Lycra denim rides up the rear. Low-rise is for people who don’t plan to sit. Mom jeans squeeze the midsection. Remember the pandemic? We dropped denim faster than Marvel drops spinoffs, and swapped them for pyjamas, palazzos, kaftans and shorts. That collective sigh of relief told us the truth: We never liked jeans. We just had Stockholm syndrome from decades of advertising.
Lie #4: Jeans are on the right side of history. Sure, denim once symbolised counterculture, rebellion, emancipation. But here’s what the fashion industry didn’t tell us: A single pair consumes up to 10,000 litres of water. Their toxic dyes pollute rivers. Chemical sandblasting has caused lung problems in workers in Bangladesh, China, Egypt, and Mexico.
Sure, wear jeans if you must. But don’t believe there’s one pair to rule them all. The industry keeps selling us mom jeans, dad jeans, boyfriend jeans — how many family members will denim go after? What to do with the pile of one-time classics in our wardrobes? No, we don’t want to cut them to make a tote bag!
From HT Brunch, September 13, 2025
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