5 unreasonable expectations that can destroy any relationship - Hindustan Times

5 unreasonable expectations that can destroy any relationship

By, New Delhi
Apr 12, 2023 04:30 PM IST

One of the biggest mistakes couples can make is to harbour unreasonable expectations. An expert on 5 expectation you should never have from your partner.

In relationships, the stage of attraction and butterflies in the stomach is soon followed by deep attachment for the partner. A person opens up, lets off the guards, make themselves vulnerable as they fall even deeper in love. It's natural for people to consider their better half an extension of themselves and as the love grows, so do the expectations, and with expectations come the fear of disappointment. One of the biggest relationship mistakes made by people is to harbour unreasonable expectations. Expecting their beloved to read their mind, not have personal space, or not have their own core group of people they like spending time with, can do more harm to a relationship than good. One should understand where these expectations are coming from and mindfully curb the tendency to control their partner. (Also read: 6 ways to re-build trust in relationship after a betrayal)

In the journey of love, many couples fall victim to unrealistic expectations that can harm the very foundation of their relationship.(Freepik)
In the journey of love, many couples fall victim to unrealistic expectations that can harm the very foundation of their relationship.(Freepik)

"In the journey of love, many couples fall victim to unrealistic expectations that can harm the very foundation of their relationship. Couples tend to have several unfair and unattainable assumptions about their partners, often leading to disappointment and failure. Unreasonable expectations in relationships can have a detrimental effect on the health of the relationship. They can lead to unrealistic standards, disappointment and resentment, communication breakdown, and unhappiness and disconnection between partners. They can cause one partner to feel their needs are not being met, leading to mistrust and resentment. Unreasonable expectations can also prevent couples from having meaningful conversations about issues that need to be addressed, as they often lead to conflict and arguments," says Dr Chandni Tugnait is M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder & Director - Gateway of Healing.

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Dr Chandni talks about five unreasonable expectations that can destroy any relationship:

1. Undiscussed exclusivity: Though exclusivity is the norm in many relationships, assuming that your partner will be exclusive without an explicit discussion is unfair. Talking openly about your expectations and boundaries is crucial to avoid hurt feelings and confusion.

2. Mind-reading abilities: No matter how strong your connection is, expecting your partner to understand your thoughts and feelings without expressing them puts undue pressure on the relationship. Open and honest communication is vital for a healthy partnership.

3. Agreeing on everything: No two individuals, even soulmates, can agree on everything. Respecting and appreciating each other's differences is essential to a robust and thriving relationship. While conflict isn't a pleasant experience, having disagreements is part of any healthy relationship. Expecting a conflict-free relationship is unrealistic, as differing opinions and personal preferences are a natural part of life. Instead, focus on resolving issues through open communication and compromise.

4. Untenable affection: While love and affection should be a cornerstone of your relationship, it is impractical to expect your partner to exhibit their feelings constantly. We all have moods, and it is unreasonable to demand constant affection without considering your partner's emotional state.

5. Spending all free time together: Expecting your partner to spend all their free time with you can be suffocating and lead to an unhealthy dependency. Both partners should maintain their hobbies, friendships, and personal interests to maintain individuality and strengthen the relationship.

"Unreasonable expectations can prove to be catastrophic for any relationship. By recognising these unrealistic expectations, couples can work towards building a more robust, understanding, and nurturing connection. Communicating openly and working together is essential in ensuring a strong, healthy, and lasting relationship," concludes Dr Chandni.

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