Do you frequently argue with your partner? Ask them these 4 questions that can change the way you approach conflicts

It takes two to tango, so it's not all on them. You may be unaware of your troubling behaviours in arguments. Ask your partner questions to identify them.

Arguments are inevitable in a relationship when you come across hiccups or hurdles. But how you navigate the disagreements is what makes all the difference. They can either bring you and your partner closer or end up driving a deeper wedge between you. It is essential to understand that how you react in the heat of the moment during an argument has a ripple effect, setting the tone for what follows.

In heated moments, you may say things you don't mean. When you calm down, you can ask your partner questions to help identify problematic reactions. (PC: Freepik)

Relationship coaches Kriti and Jai took to Instagram and shared important questions, suggesting asking your partner these questions to better understand and tackle your behaviour during heated moments.

Important questions to ask your partner:

They shared a few important questions, along with examples, that you can ask your partner:

1. What are some things I do during the arguments that make things worse? (For example: You keep rolling your eyes, you try to be sarcastic, you keep interrupting me, you are distracted on the phone, you show no facial expressions, and it feels like talking to a wall, etc)
2. What are some things I should stop saying during arguments? (For example: You always do this, you are overreacting, you are so irresponsible, stop being such a baby, I hate you, I never want to see your face, you disgust me, etc)
3. How can I help you calm down during a heated discussion? (For example: By lowering your voice, giving me time to think, giving me the benefit of doubt, showing some kind of gesture like offering a glass of water or a gentle touch like holding hands, giving me space when I feel overwhelmed, etc.)
4. What are some things you wish I had said more during our flights or arguments? (For example, I hear you, babe, I see this topic is really important to you, I want to work through this together, we are on the same team, etc.)

When to ask these questions?

Don't ask those questions in the middle of the fight. Wait for the situation to cool down. (PC: Freepik)

Moreover, there's an appropriate time to ask these questions, because timing is everything. Both partners ideally should be calm and open to dialogue to respond meaningfully.

Here are the ideal times when you can ask, as shared by the relationship coaches:

• Not during a fight: Emotions are already heightened, and discussing conflict patterns in that moment can backfire.
• Find a calm moment: When both of you are relaxed and open to conversation.
• After a disagreement: Once things have cooled down, reflecting on what worked and what didn't can improve future discussions.
• As a relationship check-in: Regularly discussing this can prevent recurring conflicts.

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your doctor with any questions about a medical condition.