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How long should you hug your partner? Expert shares 3 small habits that can transform your intimacy

If you relationship feels rusty, here are 3 habits that you can include to reignite emotional and physical intimacy, just in one minute of your day. 

Updated on: Apr 29, 2025, 11:21:18 IST
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To spruce up your sex life, you don't need something grand or extravagant plans to impress. Sometimes, it's the little things that make the biggest difference. Small, quiet and meaningful practices can solidify your bond, and when done consistently, can transform intimacy between you and your partner.

Couple needs to invest time to deepen their connection. (Shutterstock)
Couple needs to invest time to deepen their connection. (Shutterstock)

On The Mel Robbins Podcast, sex therapist Vanessa Marin shared 3 things that change your sex life. She also shared the most effective time duration for hugging your partner.

ALSO READ: Happy sex life, happier you? Study reveals the right frequency that reduces depression risk significantly

Gratitude

Gratitude shows how much you value your partner. (Shutterstock)
Gratitude shows how much you value your partner. (Shutterstock)

Gratitude goes a long way and helps support your love life, too. Taking a moment to acknowledge what you value in your partner is beneficial. It may seem small, but it can have a ripple effect of trust and a deeper connection.

Vanessa shared, “First one gratitude, which you might not expect but research has shown that gratitude is actually the number one predictor of marital satisfaction and we talked earlier about how emotional and physical intimacy are really deeply intertwined so if we want to feel closer to our partner gratitude is the fastest thing that you can do, it's literally a few seconds to say I appreciate this about you, I saw that you did that. Thank you so much for this.”

Physical contact

There's a specific time frame for a hug that further strengthens your intimacy. (Shutterstock)
There's a specific time frame for a hug that further strengthens your intimacy. (Shutterstock)

Everyone knows physical touch is one of the love languages, but is there a special time frame for it? How long should you hug or kiss to truly capture that moment of connection? Vanessa revealed the exact time frame.

The sex therapist said,"Second thing is some form of physical contact with each other. We talked a lot about non-physical touch, it's so important to have that non-sexual touch. And in particular, I like 6 6-second kiss and a 20-30-second hug. We actually have research showing that those are the specific time frames it takes for our body to release oxytocin, the bonding hormone, the trust hormone, which makes us feel close to each other."

Eye contact

Eye contact helps you come closer. (Shutterstock )
Eye contact helps you come closer. (Shutterstock )

Locking your eyes with your partner, even for a few moments, can help you feel seen. Vanessa explained the power of eye contact in relationships.

She said, “Third thing eye contact. It is wild how few couples make eye contact with each other. And I think that there is no greater tragedy than being in a long-term relationship with somebody but feeling literally emotionally unseen by them. You can do those three things in under a minute, every single day, and those will make such a big impact on your sex life.”

ALSO READ: Dating coach shares 5 signs ‘they have mentally broken up with you and you are just an option’

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.

  • Adrija Dey
    ABOUT THE AUTHOR
    Adrija Dey

    Adrija Dey’s proclivity for observation fuels her storytelling instinct. As a lifestyle journalist, she crafts compelling, relatable narratives across diverse touchpoints of the human experience, including wellness, mental health, relationships, interior design, home decor, food, travel, and fashion that gently nudge readers toward living a little better. For her, stories exist in flesh and bones, carried by human vessels and shaped through everyday endeavours. It is the small stories we live and share that make us human. After all, humans and their lores are the most natural and raw repositories of stories, and uncovering them, for her, is akin to peeling an orange under a winter afternoon sun. Always up for a chat, she believes the best stories come from unfiltered yapping, where "too much information" is kind of the point. A graduate of Indraprastha College for Women, University of Delhi, and an alumna of the Indian Institute of Mass Communication (IIMC), Delhi, Adrija spends her idle hours cocooned with herbal tea and a gripping thriller, scribbling inner monologues she loosely calls poetic pieces, often with her succulents in attendance. On lazier days, she can be found binge-watching, for the nth time, one from her comfort-show holy trinity: The Office (US), Brooklyn Nine-Nine, or Modern Family. Dancing by herself to her peppy playlists, however, is an everyday ritual she swears by religiously.Read More

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