Man feels conflicted after siding with his wife instead of his mother; Redditors say, ‘Better late than never’

Man feels guilty for being rude to his mother as he stood up for his wife's choice of not having kids at the moment.

Choosing between the mother and the wife is probably the most common nightmare scenario among married men. For a 32-year-old, that became a reality, and the way he acted in the situation did not sit well with him.

The man supported his wife during a fiery argument with his mother. (Pinterest)

He shared the experience on the popular subreddit, r/AITAH, where fellow Redditors validated his action.

Man stands by his wife

In the Reddit post, the man shared that ever since he lost his father at the age of 16, his mother has taken care of him single-handedly. She is one of the strongest women he has known, and a constant source of support whom he loves very much.

He met his wife in the first year of college. They have grown together, and she has now become his world. The wife is 33, and the couple has been married for five years. They live with the man’s mother, and he feels blessed to have them both under the same roof.

AITAH for choosing my wife over my mom?
by u/HumanProfile1975 in AITAH

Both the man and his wife have active careers, are ambitious and have been doing quite well. They have decided not to have children at the moment, because the wife feels she is not ready to be a mother. She has expressed the idea that she may never be ready, and even though the man wants to have children someday, he respects her choice.

The trouble began with his mother desperately wanting a grandchild and chiding her daughter-in-law for the same over the last year. While the man brushed it off, hoping that his mother would eventually let it go, things came to a head when one day, they had guests over who brought their kids.

After the left, the mother apparently told the wife, “You can’t even give me one grandchild? Isn’t that what women are meant to do? Your biological clock is already expiring.” When the wife asked if it was not her decision if she wanted to have children, things got heated.

At one point, the man claimed to have stepped in and told his mother, “Please stop forcing us… It’s her decision. Whatever she decides is final. You don’t get to talk to her like that.”

This was the first time he had raised his voice at his mother, and for the following two days, the latter did not speak with him. The house felt tense, and his mother has not been eating well and has mentioned wanting to move out.

In the man’s own words, “I feel guilty for shouting at the woman who sacrificed everything for me... But I also feel like if I hadn’t stepped in, I would’ve failed my wife.” He concluded the post by asking Redditors if he was in the wrong for losing his temper and shouting at his aged mother.

Redditors share their candid opinions

Netizens on Reddit approved of the man’s decision to side with his wife instead of his mother in the aforementioned situation.

“Your wife isn't an incubator. Your mom crossed a line. Wanting grandkids is fine. Shaming a woman for not providing them isn't,” was the opinion of one person.

“Loving your mom doesn't mean tolerating her disrespecting your wife. You handled it the way a spouse should,” assured another.

However, some believe that he waited too long before supporting his wife, as one person observed, “Good for you for defending your wife. It's too bad you let your mother bully your wife for a year before you spoke up. But it's better than nothing.”

“You FINALLY said something. Better late than never,” echoed another.

Yet another shared a more nuanced take, stating, “You did the right thing in defending your wife, although too late. But where you really went wrong is that you put it all on ‘your wife’s decision’. It is your joint decision. You should have said, ‘It is our decision as to whether or not to have kids.’”

Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.