Man recalls bizarre first date with girl who insisted on a roka after 15 minutes: ‘She barely knows my name…’

Rishabh Chauhan narrated a bizarre first date where a girl from a matrimony app presented a wild idea.

The race to dating and marriage moves at different, often at polar opposite paces. While dating feels like a leisurely evening stroll, discovering new lingos, from cuffing season to orbiting, marriage feels like a sprint against time, contrary to dating's spontaneous, carefree energy.

In a shocking recollection of his first date from a matrimony app, a man narrates how, after a 15-minute conversation on the first date, he got a request to get engaged. (PC: Freepik)

In a similar scenario, drawing attention to the rush for marriage, Rishabh Chauhan, a category manager who resides in Gurugram, shared one of his strange experiences with women in a September 22 Instagram post. He met a girl from a matrimony app, who, within 15 minutes of conversation on their first date, insisted on locking in their roka date.

Engagement after 9 days

Rishabh recounted the experience in his car, right after the date. He said, “So I was on a date with someone from a matrimony app. We had spoken for around two or three days before meeting. So this girl, after 10 to 15 minutes of chit-chat, she says, ‘I want to lock in.’ She says, ‘I want to get rokafied this month.’ Today’s date, I think, is 21st September, so after meeting me, there are 9 days remaining, and she wants to get engaged. And she says, ‘We will talk about everything else after the engagement.’”

Rishabh was stunned that, after meeting on the first date only, and speaking just two to three times before the in-person meeting, she was insisting on engagement, even though “she barely knows” his name right now.

Engagement is a major commitment and requires trust, but most obviously familiarity, which was not realistically possible, because how much can one know about their life partner on the first date itself?

Why rush the engagement?

Rishabh speculated about the reason behind the rush and considered the likelihood of recent breakups in his mind. But the actual reason the girl gave revealed a very deep-embedded societal issue that follows marriage.

He added, “She says, ‘I am turning 30 this month, and I want to have someone before I turn 30 because there’s a lot of pressure from relatives.” It unveils the societal and familial pressure many late twenties youth face when they approach the dreaded milestone of turning 30. Often in India, 30 is seen as the age at, one should be settled in life. This wide social conditioning drives anxiety and pushes people to run towards marriage, just like in this girl's case, quickly locking in engagement despite barely knowing her date.

Further, Rishabh pointed out the irony of relatives’ pressure, as often the pressure doesn’t account for the consequences, like divorce. He asked what relatives would say after a divorce.

It shows the impractical disconnect between societal expectations and harsh practical realities. Since a thorough compatibility check is not done, and only age is considered for marriage, like how this girl saw marriage as a deadline, then the bond inevitably would be weak, making it likely to fall apart soon.

What are the reactions?

The comment section highlighted the societal pressure young adults face when it comes to marriage. One user expressed sympathy, “I feel sad for girls and boys who decide their life’s most important decision because of the relatives or parents’ pressure.”

Another noted the common frustration when it comes to finding a potential partner. They said, "Well! She might have gone through something where the guy might have shown interest and kept her waiting for 4-5 months, so now she feels like I should not give that much time to another guy. And trust me people have lost their patience, they are done finding jeevansathi”

One user revealed that the girl may be in a state of panic. They commented, “I am 33, This Pressure is True, I don't blame her entirely.... For girls its a panic stage....”

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