Woman reveals she didn’t feel attracted to her ‘tall, handsome, IITian’ partner for long time and what changed her mind
Content creator Shakti despite meeting her perfect match was not able to ignite her feelings towards him. Find out what helped her finally connect.
Love at first sight is often idealised. From books to movies, hopeless romantics crave that fairytale-esque instant spark, chemistry after finding that right person. But life can be anticlimactic, as sometimes, despite meeting the right person, butterflies in the stomach may not fly.

Content creator Shakti Dharni also shared her own dilemma in her relationship's initial days. In a recent Instagram post, she opened up about how she met someone who seemed perfect- tall, handsome, smart, and an IIT graduate. He also showed respect and was curious about knowing her, but still, the spark of attraction was missing from her side. It took her some time to reciprocate the feelings. Today, he is her partner, the one she once made to wait while figuring out something very important.
What was wrong?
With so many encounters with walking red flags in dating nowadays, or hearing about such experiences from friends and family, it's not uncommon to get confused when someone is actually good to you.
Similarly, Shakti expressed concern when her partner, who was respectful, felt almost ‘too good to be true.’
She said in Hinglish, “I did not feel attracted to my partner for a long time. He is 6 feet 1 inch tall, looks good, hot, and handsome. He knows how to talk, how to behave, and he is from IIT. When a girl finds that all the boxes are ticked, I felt interested the first time I met him. But when we started talking, I felt he was too good for me. He was very curious to know how I felt about different things, and he also asked me meaningful questions. But I wondered, why is he so curious and talks so well? It’s not usual, right? For someone to want to know us, understand our feelings, and always be respectful towards us. So I couldn’t understand all this, and even though everything seemed good, I never felt attracted to him.”
How to get past it?
True connection requires both people to be emotionally ready. Shakti’s way forward from her dilemma was to work on herself, which in turn made her partner’s respect, curiosity, and consistent effort make her like, admire, and feel attracted to him, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually.
Reiterating the value of being emotionally prepared, she further added, "I realised that even if good people are in front of us, if we ourselves are not good, wise, or prepared, we might not even notice them, let alone fall in love with them.
She advised that one should be emotionally intelligent and aware of their values, "so that when the right person comes into your life, you don’t make them wait like I did."
Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.
ABOUT THE AUTHORAdrija DeyAdrija Dey’s proclivity for observation fuels her storytelling instinct. As a lifestyle journalist, she crafts compelling, relatable narratives across diverse touchpoints of the human experience, including wellness, mental health, relationships, interior design, home decor, food, travel, and fashion that gently nudge readers toward living a little better. For her, stories exist in flesh and bones, carried by human vessels and shaped through everyday endeavours. It is the small stories we live and share that make us human. After all, humans and their lores are the most natural and raw repositories of stories, and uncovering them, for her, is akin to peeling an orange under a winter afternoon sun. Always up for a chat, she believes the best stories come from unfiltered yapping, where "too much information" is kind of the point. A graduate of Indraprastha College for Women, University of Delhi, and an alumna of the Indian Institute of Mass Communication (IIMC), Delhi, Adrija spends her idle hours cocooned with herbal tea and a gripping thriller, scribbling inner monologues she loosely calls poetic pieces, often with her succulents in attendance. On lazier days, she can be found binge-watching, for the nth time, one from her comfort-show holy trinity: The Office (US), Brooklyn Nine-Nine, or Modern Family. Dancing by herself to her peppy playlists, however, is an everyday ritual she swears by religiously.Read More
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