Skills we need to practice for secure relationships
From regulating emotions to feeling comfortable being alone, here are a few skills we need to learn for secure relationships.
Relationships are meant to be a safe and secure space for growth. People involved in a relationship should try to make the relationship healthy in every way possible. A healthy relationship involves trusting each other, being open to having difficult conversations, stating needs and expectations in clear words and standing by each other no matter what happens. Clear boundaries and respecting each other's boundaries are also part of a healthy relationship. However, more often than not, we need to inculcate a lot of skills in us in order to make the relationship secure. It is always a work in progress. Addressing this, Therapist Sadaf Siddiqi wrote, "All of the above are important to be aware of because they impact how you connect with others, whether you’re aware of it or not." She further added that such skills apply for friendships as well.
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Managing conflict: Contrary to popular belief, conflicts are actually healthy. They help us understand each other's perspectives and opinions. However, we need to learn how to manage conflict, rather than avoiding it. After a conflict, we need to sit together and find common ground.
Holding us and our partners accountable: We need to learn to hold ourselves accountable for the mistakes made by us and apologise. Holding the partner accountable means not ignoring the red flags and having healthy communications about them.
Feeling comfortable being alone: A healthy relationship demands a life outside the partner. Healthy interdependence involves us being comfortable with ourselves and not being dependant on our partners in an unhealthy way.
Respect the needs: The needs and expectations of ourselves as well as those of our partners should be respected at all times.
Regulating the emotions: We are responsible for our reactions, and we should learn to regulate them so as to not have negative impact on the relationship.