What hyper-vigilance in relationship looks like - Hindustan Times

What hyper-vigilance in relationship looks like

By, Delhi
Oct 11, 2023 01:36 PM IST

From overanalysing to being afraid of vulnerability, here are a few signs of being hyper-vigilant in a relationship.

When we are brought up in dysfunctional homes, we store trauma and past experiences in us. This further affects adult relationships in the later stages of life. One of the impacts of trauma is hyper-vigilance. "The hypervigilant heightened state of alertness, often rooted in past trauma or stress, can manifest in various ways. Individuals experiencing hypervigilance may find themselves constantly scanning their environment for potential threats, experiencing intense anxiety, and struggling with relaxation and rest. They may have difficulty trusting others and be quick to react to perceived danger," wrote Therapist Lalitaa Suglani. However, the prime reason of being hyper-vigilant is not to gain control, but to gain safety - "At the core of hypervigilance lies a profound need for safety, and with the right support and coping strategies, individuals can work towards finding a sense of security and peace. The physical symptoms can leave you feeling tense, fatigued, and on edge," the expert further added.

What hyper-vigilance in relationship looks like(Unsplash)
What hyper-vigilance in relationship looks like(Unsplash)

Lalitaa Suglani further noted down a few signs of hyper-vigilance in a relationship:

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ALSO READ: Signs that you are stuck in emotional hyper-vigilance

Difficulty in trusting: Trust forms one of the foundation blocks of a safe and healthy relationship. However, when one of the partners in a relationship is hyper-vigilant, they have difficulty in trusting the other person.

Constant worry: A hyper-vigilant partner is constantly worried about something going wrong. They instantly think of worst-case scenarios in order to save themselves from being shocked.

Difficulty relaxing and constantly suspecting: They have difficulty in relaxing and thinking about things going smoothly and fine – they are also always suspecting the other partner.

Overanalysing: one of the signs of hyper-vigilance in a relationship is constantly putting the partner under scrutiny. Every word, action and reaction of the other person is overanalysed to find out deeper meanings.

Fear of vulnerability: This can stem from the way their emotions have been suppressed since childhood. They start to believe that vulnerability can lead to heartbreak, and hence they try to put up a tough exterior.

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