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Witerati: Salman black buck to Shashisms that stuck

It was the season of black buck, passing the buck & ‘lalochezia’ schmuck, thanks to Salman, Shashi, Sonam & Co.

punjab Updated: Apr 15, 2018 12:09 IST
Witerati,Salman Khan,Black buck
Salman Khan, Shashi Tharoor and Sonam Kapoor sure kept Tweeple entertained in a week defined by the buck, schmuck and mathematical ill-luck.(AP )

The season surely belonged to three famous S’s of Twitterverse who hogged the headlines for better or verse. One protagonist had to do with the black buck, another with prodding Tweeple to buck (up) with schooling in the English language, and the third had to face the buck for being unable to figure out riddles, not the ‘size zero’ but the mathematical kind. Salman Khan, Shashi Tharoor and Sonam Kapoor sure kept Tweeple entertained in a week defined by the buck, schmuck and mathematical ill-luck.

‘Black Panther’ to Black Buck

Bachelor No 1 of Bollywood ‘Bajrangi Bhaijaan’ Salman Khan may not possess much disposition to himself get engaged, but he sure has the knack of keeping an entire nation engaged, not just with his reel knack but also his real knack for court-ing controversy.

As his jailing in the black buck case kept ‘tamasha TV’ and Twitter in a tizzy, there unfolded the game of passing the buck. Thanks to ‘tamasha TV’, those suffering memory loss about science lessons aeons ago on our eco-system’s endangered Black Bucks & Co were afforded ample opportunity to refresh their general knowledge quotient. In a season spelling more fixation with the tale of the ‘Black Panther’, it was time for reassertion of things tail, jail and bail a la the Black Buck.

The blame game for Salman’s jail tale was staged by who else but the Badshahs of Big Debate – Arnab & Co. As their decibel quotients darted northwards, it was difficult to decipher whether ‘tamasha TV’s’ concern was for the black buck or passing the buck.

It was a curious case of that endangering species – Pashas of Primetime past masters at pinning the buck. And a furious case of another endangered species – viewers whose ear lobes were positioned at the receiving end of mega-decibel muck.

Sonam’s ‘Dheere di Adding’

In a tinsel town that has a curious, dubious or spurious equation with triangles – not the ones to do with geometry but the ones to do with the third angle to couple chemistry – one would have presumed Bollywood belles to be suitably schooled in decoding all things angular.

It was thus a surprise that stylista Sonam Kapoor couldn’t crack a Twitter quiz that tossed up triangles. This triangle-ignorance ‘added’ to trolls ‘squarely’ targeting the IQ of the fashionista feted more for flying colours at GQ.

Trolls tossed memes, clubbing Sonam with another actress at the receiving end of IQ shame. A meme showed Sonam in Aalia Bhat’s exalted company – “Divided by parents, united by IQ.” Sonam played tame, taking on herself ‘squarely’ the triangle blame. A curious case of not passing the buck.

Shashisms & schmuck

Our fabled congressional custodian of Queen’s English was engaged more in another form of buck – tutoring Twitterati to buck (up) with bettering their vocabulary about creatures schmuck. Shashi Tharoor unleashed on Tweeple another gem from Tharoorosaurus: “Every day, I encounter … people suffering from lalochezia …” In the season of the black buck, a curious case of Tharoor triggering things duck – propelling people to ‘duck’ for dictionaries. Saluting this schooling in Stephanian English with our own Shashism: “Let actors and snollygosters rampantly regurgitate on the (black) buck, my bounden duty is to buck (up) Tweeple to go duck for lexicon-ological enlightenment on rodomontading webaqoofs afflicted by Lalochezia and such muck!”

chetnabanerjee@gmail.com

First Published: Apr 15, 2018 12:08 IST