Are you serial nagger? Then stop before it kills your relationship

Experts explain how nagging can ruin even the healthiest of relationship and what you need to do to deal with it.

Nagging—characterised by persistently reminding your partner to do something, is a toxic silent relationship killer. However, the question is: Why would a partner resort to eating away at someone’s head by nagging them, in the first place? It is usually when one of the partners feels that the other won’t follow up on a certain task.

Constant nagging can make your partner feel insecure. Also, nagging partners are usually not satisfied with the relationship. This feeling can make your partner feel as if he/she is not worth it.(Istock)

In return, when the other partner gets annoyed by the constant pestering, they don’t feel like cooperating at all. This continues, trapping both partners in a never-ending cycle of nagging. Partners that don’t feel satisfied in a relationship also resort to nagging.

We got in touch with experts Dr Manish Jain, psychiatrist, and Sudha Anantharam, relationship counselor from your dost, who explain how nagging is harmful and how couples can deal with it.

Why it kills your relationship

1)Constant nagging can make your partner feel insecure. Also, nagging partners are usually not satisfied with the relationship. This feeling can make your partner feel as if he/she is not worth it.

2)It can breed bitterness and negativity into a relationship. One partner could feel resentful because they feel the need to nag, while the other could end up feeling incompetent.

3)Excessive nagging can cause anger issues in the partner at the receiving end. It can arouse feelings of self-loathing, and cause them to lose control.

4)If you nag someone persistently over a period of time, your partner’s perception of you changes. They view as a source of stress and negativity; they view you as a threat. As a result, they stop responding and slowly drift away.

How to deal with it

1)It is extremely important to aim for clarity by seeing things from your partner’s point of view. When your partner fails to do a task, instead of getting angry, empathise. Try understanding why they don’t think what is priority for you, isn’t so for them. Listen and communicate politely.

2)Don’t be snippy when asking your partner for something or have an issue. Belittling your partner could turn any efforts they make for you, in the future, into a negative experience. A polite tone and a smile is what you need to avoid this. Appreciate your partner whenever they do something for you.

3)If your partner genuinely doesn’t want to do something, then let it be. Nagging in these situations can backfire. Don’t force the issue, since it will only create a wall between you and your partner.