Relationship advice: Heal the wound first, focus on repairing the friendship
From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, Cyrus Broacha’s got all the dating advice you need.Updated: Dec 26, 2018 12:38 IST
Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems? Worry not. So, TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need from your first date to something that you can’t find a solution to. From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.
I have a crush on a guy in my class. We keep bumping into each other at least two or three times a day. We were good friends before but we recently had a fight. Now, I don’t know if he still has a crush on me. If no, then how should I impress him? — TS
TS, I once went to a Chinese restaurant in Beijing. But I really struggled to order anything. That’s because the menu was in Mandarin. Finally out of desperation I pointed at a dish on another table. Promptly the dish and the man were brought and seated at my table. Your facts are all very sketchy. You say you were friends, and then you had a fight. But what was the fight about? Was there any name calling? Any hair pulling? And why do you want to impress him if he’s not talking to you? And how would you even do that, by wearing his favourite shirt? By getting him a free subscription to Netflix? By growing 4 inches taller? Let’s focus with the now. Approach him, and find out why he’s upset, specifically. Give him a little attention, try, and, heal the wound first. Let’s repair the friendship. The ‘Crush’ will have to wait.
I am a 29-year-old guy working in a private company. I had undergone heart surgery two years back and I am now living a normal life. However, now, I am afraid to be in a relationship with anyone, as I think that the girl I like might not accept me the way I am. Please help. — RS
Looks like they were treating the wrong organ. It’s not your heart, but your mind that needs help. Don’t you remember that beautiful fairy tale by Hans Christian Anderson, where a toad with heart surgery, grows up to be a beautiful swan? (Okay, I may have mixed up 3 separate fairy tales and one story on financial embezzlement from Wall Street as well). But finally yours is a question I can answer. It’s all fairly simple. First and foremost, and the only thing you need to do is, accept yourself the way you are. That is, heart surgery and all. The cliché is true. No one’s perfect. Except may be Aamir Khan. Oh and Roger Federer, also may be Kim Jong Un. But by and large we all carry our own secret surgeries. So love thyself please. Then and only then will girls follow.
I recently met this girl at a friend’s party. We both spoke and had almost instant chemistry. However, I don’t really know if I have started liking her or is this just a passing cloud feeling. We talk to each other almost every day and like each other’s company. What should I do? — VS
VS, Paul Van Muteen, the Dutch agrarialial scientist, was the one who grew a mustard plant in cotton and water. It was he who explained that the most important dynamic in this combination was time. It’s also how the Judge explained to Charles Manson the concept of life imprisonment. In fact ‘time’, is the answer you are looking for, Mr.VS. Also let me stress by ‘Time’, I don’t mean the magazine, but instead I speak of the concept with the same name. Since you talk to each other every day, and enjoy each other’s company, let ‘time’, do its thing. Time will give you your answer. It worked for the mustard seem, it worked for the magazine it’ll also work for you.
I am in love with this senior at my college. However, I am not really sure if he is single. We speak to each other during college hours. I wanted to know how should I get this friendship going so that I could know him better and then confess my feelings. Please help. — KR
KR, the ancient Greek Philosophers, and I mean ancient, (Diogenes would have been 2,178 years old today for instance), had discovered over 645 cues in our body language that hinted at deep feelings. For example, pulling hard at your right earlobe for more than 40 seconds. Blowing air into your palms, and then rubbing the same palms on your face. Pulling your trousers up above your navel. (Oh yes, the ancient Greeks wore trousers). My point, KR, is watch his body language for tell-tale signs that he’s more than interested. And about the ‘single’, part, just ask him. If you want to be indirect, just mention how you love being free and single, he’s bound to counter his position. In cricketing terms, “watch the ball”. The signs are all out there. We just need to read them. Now for a general comment. To all H.T. readers a Merry X’mas, and a Happy New Year. And to non HT readers, “if you are not an HT Reader how come you are reading this”?
First Published: Dec 26, 2018 12:30 IST