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Home / Sex and Relationship / To get pregnant or not is a woman’s prerogative

To get pregnant or not is a woman’s prerogative

Babul Supriyo on how women .. not men .. need to take that important decision

sex-and-relationships Updated: Aug 22, 2013, 11:20 IST
Babul Supriyo (HT Cafe)
Babul Supriyo (HT Cafe)

Life sometimes seems to be in wilderness. Finding your own self is so hard some times that searching for someone who would truly understand and love you may only make you feel more helpless and lonely.

We are designed to fall in love at some time or the other. I also believe 'real' love does happen to everyone at some time. And when it happens — you lose it completely.

Chemistry This raises a very legitimate question. Is love and sex inseparable? Do platonic relationships really exist? Can love reach its highest and most intense form without involving lust?

Love is meant to assume a different meaning for all. Great writers and philosophers have left behind stories that convince us that ‘love’ of the purest form involves ‘lovemaking’ too.

Therein pops a very relevant question. Is the act of love making always with the intention of parenthood or is it merely an act between two individuals who are simply following their insticts?

Such reality checks have left hardcore romantics heartbroken. That's when even my mushy article crash lands in the ‘real world’ threatened today with more and more such acts of ‘love’ between two individuals who are in love.

Sparking it offBut what triggers off a singer to write about this issue?
On a flight to New York, some time ago, I was reading about the appalling rate at which AIDS is spreading in the underdeveloped countries because of reluctance on the part of most men to take the necessary precautions while visiting sex workers.

I was attracted to another issue in the US that had become a subject of international debate. A young unmarried woman gave birth to a child but the father of the child refused to accept responsibility and provide child-support.

According to him, it was a child conceived as a result of ‘casual consensual sex’ without the intention of parenthood.

Apart from a bitter battle in the court room, the issue sparked off a huge row in society.

Was it fair to attach the 'responsibility quotient' to every ‘act of sex’?
Does a woman qualify for child support after she decides to give birth to a child that she may have conceived by, what her partner terms as, 'casual sex without the intention of parenthood'?

The debate also re-ignited the age old controversy whether ‘abortion’ should be legally banned as an unethical and immoral act, a move strongly supported by the Vatican, or whether it should be encouraged as a practical solution to such accidental pregnancies.

After all, why should a child be born to already warring parents with his or her life termed as an accident?
While the solution surely lies in educating people, it has several delicate aspects that need to be dealt with very carefully.

Creating life For instance, while dealing with teenage minds, it will always remain a debatable issue if sex education in primary schools can prevent irresponsible sexual behaviour or whether it makes these tender minds more inclined towards it.

That's simply because teenage by itself is exploration of the unknown and the thrills accompanying it, often shirking responsibilities later, a virtue almost non-existent in today’s youngsters.

However, when it comes to dealing with it as adults, I strongly wish we begin to implement a few measures wherein women take the onus on themselves to decide if they want to get pregnant or not.

This is taking into account the immense power that nature has blessed them with to transform even the most lewd act of sex into the most beautiful act on planet earth — creating life. Powerless It’s like saying that it’s important for a nuclear empowered country to become conscious and careful of it's potential hazard, if abused. But this is by no means an implication that men can behave in an irresponsible manner.

I think it would be more practical and less harsh to use the term ‘careful’ instead of the overused ‘responsible’ when it comes to a woman's attitude towards sex.

Unfortunately, man, apart from triggering off the start of the process, cannot boast of having the power to make babies! It’s a privilege that’s awarded only to a woman.

Therefore in today's world, when the spread of AIDS has made the age old saying, “Prevention is better than cure”, more relevant than it has ever been, it’s time women take the decision in their hands to prevent an ‘act of sex’ from becoming an ‘act of creation’.

ht epaper

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