Cyrus Broacha to the rescue: Why hurt his feelings when you can lie

  • Cyrus Broacha, Hindustan Times
  • Updated: Feb 15, 2016 09:47 IST
Cyrus Broacha’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need.

Are you having relationship troubles? Is the long distance bothering you or do you have trust issues? Are you looking for someone to talk your heart out about these problems?

Worry not. So, TV anchor, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist and author, Cyrus Broacha is here to help you: From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, he’s got all the dating advice you’ll ever need from your first date to something that you can’t find a solution to.

From how to approach your crush to how to handle a break up, shoot your questions to Cyrus and he will answer them.

A boy in my college loves me. I have rejected his proposals several times in the past ­because my focus is on the studies. But he is still waiting for a positive reply from me. How do I get rid of him? - PC


One of the most ­underrated virtues in the world is that of lying. Lying can be a beautiful thing. In your ­­situation, it fits like fog and Delhi. He’s pestering you, so you need to spin a good one. Why can’t you say you are (a) Engaged to someone, (b) Leaving India forever, (c) Want to have a sex change ­operation and become a man or (d) Have irritable bowel syndrome. Any of the above should work. So why ‘hurt’ his feelings when you can lie!

I’m infatuated with a guy, but I’ve heard he has a girlfriend. I don’t want to intrude into his relationship. At the same time, I want him to be mine. Please help. - Candida


Candida, first let me wish you a happy Valentine’s Day. If you are at ­present in a crowded lane in Bengaluru, three feet ­outside the Ram Seva headquarters, please don’t read this answer out aloud. In today’s day and age, there is a good chance that his ­relationship status has been posted online. Google him or ask around. He can’t hide it from the world. Kim Jong Un once said relationships are like wigs. Sooner or later, they are found out. So dig around. Then start the process of chatting. It’s easier than you think.

Read: Just say no, advises Cyrus Broacha

My best friend is in a ­relationship with a guy who is loving and caring, but weird. He is very sensitive and gets hurt easily. He says things that hurt her. But she ­apologises every time. ­Sometimes he ignores her to be with his friends, at times he finds her love ­suffocating and says talking daily is not necessary. He starts a fight and she blames herself and tries to change. His ego stands firm when they have a fight. Kindly help. - DT
DT, why do you care so much? Do you love her? Do you have your own love column? In which case, you are a competitor in a very crowded industry, and I shouldn’t humour you. Fact is, you can’t help her if she’s weak and allowing herself to be ­bullied. She has to help herself. She has to find the strength to fight and stand up to him. For this strength, there are ­vitamins available in the market. And don’t forget ayurvedic options. Mostly though, she needs to rewrite the rules. All you can do is suggest what they should be.


Read | Cyrus Broacha to the rescue: Long distance love can work, you know

Just write to uncle Cy: And I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I’m not doing a headstand at the time.

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