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How to Write a Love Letter

Any modern age Romeo could do with a little help and The Fake Jhunjhunwala has decided to pitch in. Read on to check out the tips he has to offer.

brunch Updated: May 25, 2011 17:25 IST
The Fake Jhunjhunwala
The Fake Jhunjhunwala
Hindustan Times

Back before I was a billionaire a billion times over I was as I am today deeply in love with my super awesome karate chopping head snapping sweet wife Rekha. My ability to woo women is of course well known. Back then I was the college Romeo training to be a Chartered Accountant and I'd often write love letters to my future wife. However, I'd always code these letters using names of companies and implying their slogans/ catchphrases / mottos to announce my real intent.

When the time came to tell her that I really loved her, I decided as usual to write a letter. If that letter were written today using the names of contemporary companies it would look a lot like this:

Dearest Rekha,

Whenever I see you my heart always does HERO HONDA (Dhak Dhak Go).Just catching the slightest glimpse of you gives me Coca Cola (Open Happiness).

I was scared and worried about telling you this but I realize that MOUNTAIN DEW (Darr Ke Aage Jeet Hai). So I decided to NIKE (Just Do It).

In these matters one always wants to TELEBRANDS (Choose Wisely,Live Well) and I promise you I will always be LIC (Zindagi Ke Saath Bhi, Zindagi Ke Baad Bhi ) with you L'OREAL (Because You're Worth It) and you are HBO (Simply The Best).

FEMINA ( For All The Women You Are) in one person you have amazing PHILIPS ( Sense And Simplicity) which is why I shall always strive to be about ONGC ( Making Tomorrow Brighter).


Now I know that your Dad doesn't APPLE (Think Different) and he views the Stock Market as a place where I can't make money and hence be unable to provide the life you deserve. I know It's difficult in the markets but I believe that ADIDAS (Impossible Is Nothing) and this is where I'd like to be despite your Dad wanting me to PEPSI (Change The Game) and every time he asks SAMSUNG ( Next Is What?) ; I'll always tell him that I shall forever strive to make his Daughter KINGFISHER( Fly The Good Times)

I promise to be honest and prove to be the epitome of ACCENTURE (High Performance, Delivered) but I can't do it without you . You make me RAYMOND (The Complete Man) because you're Awesome!

Our relationship is about NOKIA (Connecting People) CHEVROLET (For A Special Journey Called Life). I promise to make you happy every single day so that LG (Life's Good) and you forever can AIRTEL (Express Yourself) in the utmost joy.

We are WILLS NAVY CUT (Made For Each Other). Let's Rock!

Yours Lovingly,
Param Pujya Shri Shri Shri Awesome Ultra Sexy Humble Cute and Cuddly Rakesh Jhunjhunwala.

The Fake Jhunjhunwala is the parody writer of the popular blog 'The Secret Journal Of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala'. He likes counting money. He is a big fan of Samosas, Ice Cream, Pav Bhaji, Pizza, Garlic Bread and Beer.

His hobbies include playing Super Mario, Stalking Hot Babes and Watching B-Grade films to intensively investigate any censor board violations. He also watches Cricket and worships Sachin Tendulkar as much as he worships himself. Read more from him at

He can also be found on twitter usually ranting about Uday Chopra, The Universe and everything in between at

First Published: May 25, 2011 14:14 IST