Investing in black gold
Old maxims and idioms such as “Aqal badi ya bhains”, “Jiski lathi uski bhains”, “Kala akshar bhains barabar” and “Bhains ke aage been bajana” have recently proved entirely wrong. In my view, the buffalo must be declared the national animal. Madan Gupta Spatu writeschandigarh Updated: Oct 24, 2013 10:01 IST
Old maxims and idioms such as “Aqal badi ya bhains”, “Jiski lathi uski bhains”, “Kala akshar bhains barabar” and “Bhains ke aage been bajana” have recently proved entirely wrong. In my view, the buffalo must be declared the national animal.
On my retirement, I would receive monetary benefits of 40 lakh. I discussed my post-retirement plans with my ‘bitter half ’: to purchase a car, one 2BHK flat and some investment in gold for the rainy days ahead. As soon as I submitted the proposed bill in her Parliament, she rejected it as per the old habits and whims of a true opposition party.
She quipped, “Instead of investing in glittering gold, I will invest in black gold.” I was perplexed. She explained, quoting the example of a Haryanvi farmer, that one buffalo costs 2 lakh and can be sold for 25 lakh the next year. Can your investment in gold, property, shares, mutual funds multiply to this extent in just 365 days, she asked.
“With your 40 lakh, I will purchase 20 buffaloes at the rate of 2 lakh each. One Murrah buffalo yields 30 litres of milk daily. It will fetch 1,200 per day, 36,000 per month and 4.32 lakh per annum. The 20 head of cattle will fetch 80.64 lakh annually, besides their daily appreciating sale value. Can your financial investment bring such quick returns?” she questioned.
While I tried to open my mouth, she further dreamt, “Our Dhanno or Lakshmi will also walk the ramp. If she is declared the ramp queen, I will get 1kg gold also. And if she stands first in the best cattle contest, the CM will pose for a photo with you. If our ‘black beauties’ win awards at livestock competitions and notch the top slot in milk production, we will also become best milk producers and may receive the V Kurien Award. During government service, you could not avail LTC (leave travel concession) even for Nepal. Now you may be invited to Canada for delivering a lecture on ‘The Murrah buffalo-human relationship.’”
She continued, “The day is not far when our buffalo would become the most-soughtafter Vicky Donor of the animal world. Besides providing milk, we shall excel in semen production too.” I jumped up, “You mean ‘ Aam ke aam aur guthliyon ke daam’?” “Haan! Ib ghusi tharey bheje mein baat (now you have got my point),” she endorsed.
Though I am on top of the world, I am still in a fix whether to purchase a cattle pound or a house to live peacefully. Any suggestions?
The writer can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org
First Published: Oct 24, 2013 10:00 IST