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Spice of Life: Destination wedding: More of photo op than family function
Right from the airport arrival to the departure, every minute detail had been taken care of. Marvelling at this trend, my eyes fell on the dress code. Ethnic with colour code for rituals, casuals for the pool party, western formal for cocktail and traditional attire for the wedding.
One fine day an ostentatious box was delivered. An invite to a cousin’s daughter’s wedding. I was spellbound by the craftsmanship – multiple layers loaded with customised goodies; hand-painted cards of various ceremonies in embellished wordings, elaborate packing with tissue, bells, flowers; tag line and initial embossing. Pardon my middle-class train of thought; it appeared the expense on packing was far more than the edible stuff. As I was zeroing on a genial soul to devour the gourmet platter, a ping popped on my mobile. A video invite – pre-wedding shoot of the bride and groom synchronised on the latest Bollywood playlist at an enticing destination.
As I was absorbing all this, my cousin called. Courtesy personified in syrupy words, she reiterated the entire saga and entrapped me into acceptance. Engulfed in willing suspension of disbelief, only a few words left an indelible imprint – destination wedding, close-knit family, bonding! A tiny worm of caution wiggled its head to mar my dreamy float – availing leave during peak teaching session but I snubbed it at the altar of familial ties.
The next to call was the wedding planner. A brief exchange of pleasantries and I was in for a barrage of enquiries – my travel itinerary, members attending, etc. Right from the airport arrival to the departure, every minute detail had been taken care of. Marvelling at this trend, my eyes fell on the dress code. Ethnic with colour code for rituals, casuals for the pool party, western formal for cocktail and traditional attire for the wedding. I ransacked my wardrobe. Rummaging through my collection, I did a quick calculation what can be worn or recycled and new purchase. Matching accessories, footwear, bags/purses, wedding gift, fancy shagun envelopes, cash for ceremonies/valet tips, etc.
My train of thought was interrupted – the choreographer. Post a detailed description of the theme-based sangeet, I was informed I would get a slot after the parents/siblings/bride and groom (since I was a cousin). Whether I would give a solo performance or couple? Would I need coaching? The preliminary online and extensive on venue. Confused, I politely excused promising to update shortly. For the next few days, I was caught up in a flurry of activities – boutique trials, salon session, dance class, market visit. The preparatory phase was a delight and the actual experience was akin to a dream sequence. The entire venue was tastefully decorated, the event synchronised to perfection yet it all precipitated to being superficial.
Punjabi marriages are synonymous to gaiety, exude boisterousness. What was missing was the emotional quotient, the belongingness. No quibble over preferential treatment, no argument over rituals, none of the customary brother/son-in-law tantrum. The planner called the shots and all fell in line. It was more of a photo opportunity; social media upload than a family function. The chaos, commotion, frantic shouts, ceremonial faux pas, fun banter, lost/misplaced luggage were sourly missed. What is a wedding without an episode? No tale to regale in times to come!
The writer is an associate professor and head of the department of English, Hindu Girls College, Jagadhri. She can be contacted at kalrasuruchi@yahoo.com
