Guest Column | Road to change leads through acceptance
My school principal once said that in the convent, they celebrate each day as Christmas and revel in the possibilities presented by blessings and love.
This Diwali, as my mother placed a tray of glittering diyas on our dining table, I could not but admire the beauty of the earthen lamps, which would soon illuminate all the nooks and corners of our home. The purity of each flame flickering to its own music was the ultimate bliss.
It suddenly occurred to me that each festival gives us the chance to dwell on certain moral values and some core life lessons.
Take the diyas for instance, do we ever look at the Diwali diyas and criticise the light, the dancing flames or the colours reflected? No. So, why not extend the same curtesy to other people and stop judging them. The same can easily be said for sunsets, flowing rivers and wide cheerful smiles. Why not imbibe from our own attitude towards these imperfect-yet-wholesome scenes and become more accepting as human beings?
My school principal once said that in the convent, they celebrate each day as Christmas and revel in the possibilities presented by blessings and love. The kind of love advocated by her begins with empathy towards ourselves, others and our concurrent situations. We should always bear in mind that the road to change leads through acceptance.
What did Sanjay Dutt do in the Munna Bhai series? He gives the troubled ones hugs, flowers and get-well-soon greetings. This led to healing through self-acceptance . Some may argue that the film is an exaggeration, and they are not wrong, but lessons to be learnt nevertheless present themselves.
Counsellers often prescribe an exercise to help with self-acceptance. They ask patients to sit with their eyes closed and allow thoughts to arrive and leave like leaves going with the flow of a river. Becoming a non-judgemental spectator to one’s thoughts elevates self-acceptance and self-awareness. There might be, and will be, unwelcome and unwanted thoughts, too. Letting them come and pass without giving them any significance takes their power away, thus letting us choose what we actually want to act on, and thus initiating change.
Self-acceptance will automatically help increase tolerance towards others. Carl Jung, the Swiss psychologist, says: “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” It implies that our viewpoints about other people are largely reflections of our own inner-being. If we are critical of our own selves, we will reflect the same for other as well.
Acknowledging a reality of any sort, instead of avoiding it, gives our psyche a kind of inner strength and courage, a dire necessity. So, this acknowledgement and acceptance is not an option anymore, but, an essential. It makes a person emotionally resilient. It will always be easy to be a fault-finder, but slight effort to be the opposite ensures everyone’s upliftment. And, the positivity thus born is akin to acquiescence.
So, let’s nip all the evil in the bud, and get rid of all judgement and denial. The sooner the better, for transformation also awaits, round the corner.
reemaban@gmail.com
The writer is a Jagadhri-based freelance contributorlance contributor
