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Random Forays | JOMO is far better than FOMO
The constant need to prove to others that we are ahead of the curve or have enough verve is not actually a meaningful way to live
What have we got to prove? And to whom? We tend to over think a lot about what others think of us, especially while we’re growing up. But even later, we do succumb to the pressure of being “with it” and not left out, so to say.
I, for one, used to be deeply concerned about the impression that I was conveying to people around, and the construct in their minds that they were probably building about me. Gradually, by pegging away, and rousing up my confidence, incrementally, I was able to diminish, though not vanquish, this sense of worry about “what will people think?”
The fear of missing out or FOMO is a huge factor at play in people’s minds today. The sense of not being one of the crowd, being left behind, being a laggard, is predominant in the minds of many socially conscious individuals. A sense of anxiety at the prospect of not being able to attend certain events is a needless negative vibe that we tend to generate from within ourselves. By not having been at “that party” or “that concert” where our friends may have had a lot of back slapping fun, makes us feel rather morose.
The friends don’t tell us of course that they went hungry the whole evening at the concert and had to walk for miles either way. They also don’t mention the jostling and hustling involved in the process of simply entering the venue. They just want to feel the dopamine kick the next day as well by gushing unabashedly about the wow feeling of “last night”!
And the poor FOMO practitioner feels utterly terrible at having missed the big bash.
How about the joy of missing out, though? JOMO is a phrase fast gaining popularity. Just as the phrase “slow food” originated in Germany, perhaps, to counter the craziness for fast food, JOMO is set to replace FOMO as the new healthy fad.
Our health clearly depends on the way we think, to a large extent. And in this zip zap zoom, boom shakalaka boom era, we truly need simple joys, calmness and chill time.
Those who vanish to the hills or the country side for the weekend, and those who detox from their intrusive technology permeated gadgets are those who are able to feel the balm of sheer calm.
This JOMO feeling actually works, by the way. I tried it out under compulsion recently when my wife, Neena, insisted that we attend a silent retreat at an ashram. To my utter horror, we had to deposit our beloved smartphones and were allowed to access them only once a day! My initial trepidation and feeling of helplessness gave way to a sense of sheer surrender later. I realised that there was no way that I could access my messages and all the cricket scores, etc, the whole day long. I prayed to the almighty to keep the world safe while I pretended to be a hermit without access to the rest of the world.
And guess what? Not only did the world survive, I even received some really good news when I finally retrieved by beloved device. Needless to say, the next two days passed off in relative calmness and I realised reluctantly that I was actually feeling quite joyful at missing out on all the “action”!
The constant need to prove to others that we are ahead of the curve or have enough verve is not actually a meaningful way to live. But we do tend to fall into this quicksand of validation at times. We human beings tend to live for what others think, while we should simply be living for others.
Fashion consciousness and trend awareness are normal modern traits but if stretched too far, they can numb our sensibilities. The hill dweller is rather “cool” in many ways though. He doesn’t much care for knowing all the gossip that’s going on in the world. He’d rather enjoy sitting calmly in some sunshine while it lasts and appears rather philosophical to the passing onlooker.
The joy of not knowing too much and of decluttering our minds has no match. And if that means missing out on “dos” and “gigs”, then so be it!
vivek.atray@gmail.com
