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Spice of life: Misadventures of GPS in uncharted territory
My husband has this peculiar habit of asking me to turn on the GPS whenever we go to an unknown or previously unvisited destination. Every time I tell him to take a turn according to the directions, he asks, “Are you sure?”
I’m trying really hard to find a way to explain how I lose my way around familiar routes so easily. As a thumb rule, I follow a fixed path from home to college and back. On such occasions when the authorities deem it fit to divert the way owing to repair work or some other reason, rest assured of the fact that I’m sure to lose my way home.
My sense of direction is so poor and memory most unreliable when it comes to remembering routes, roads, lanes or by-lanes that my children have mom-jokes about the whole thing. “If mom says she’s certain you are to take a right turn, always go left,” they say.
So, when I was introduced to the concept of global positioning system or GPS a few years ago, I was ecstatic. No more worrying about getting lost, no more confusion whether to turn left or right and no more asking for directions from strangers by rolling down the windows of the car which often ended up in shrugs and occasionally in getting misdirected. You just install the application in the phone and the sweet, melodious, heavy-on-accent female voice guides you to your destination, ending on the most satisfying conclusion of all, “You have arrived at your destination.”
However, no sooner did I download the app and start using it than I realised that it wasn’t as reliable as I had thought it would be. On numerous occasions, when we followed its instructions blindly, it led us either into narrow alleys or into crowded bazaars, while offering us the shortest route possible to our destination. I remember, once we followed the GPS instructions in Agra, only to get stuck in the middle of a congested market where our car jostled not only with pedestrians but also with cycle rickshaws.
My husband has this peculiar habit of asking me to turn on the GPS whenever we go to an unknown or previously unvisited destination. Every time I tell him to take a turn according to the directions, he asks, “Are you sure?” I give him a sour look that translates roughly into, If I had a clue, why would I put on the GPS in the first place! No wonder we end up arguing whenever we go on a long drive.
The funniest episode happened a few months ago. We were in Chandigarh to attend an event and since the destination was unknown to both of us, we followed the GPS. On a particular road, the voice from the GPS instructed us to turn on January Path. We were confused for we had never heard of this route before. As I looked up, the signboard read Jan Path. Karen Jacobsen, the voice that provides instructions on the GPS, obviously thought Jan was the abbreviated form of January and hence, was kind enough to elaborate it for us. No prizes for guessing, we took heed of her sincere advice and headed towards January Path.
sonrok15@gmail.com
The writer is an associate professor of English at SD College, Ambala Cantt
