Spice of Life | Of neighbourly ties & friendly exchanges

Neighbourhood norms and practices in our childhood were totally different, especially in the give and take of mutually exchangeable articles of daily use. Lending and borrowing wasn’t an issue with the statuses of the householders.

True that. But how if the apples could be exchanged with pine and vice-versa? Again true, that good fences make good neighbours, but how if the apple tree bending from over the boundary wall dropped the fruit in the other yard! Well, the core issue is of proximity that should facilitate an exchange and strengthen the neighbourly bonds as a good gesture among residents cohabiting in a healthy society.

Spice of Life | Of neighbourly ties & friendly exchanges

Neighbourhood norms and practices in our childhood were totally different, especially in the give and take of mutually exchangeable articles of daily use. Lending and borrowing wasn’t an issue with the statuses of the householders. We had seen people sending their kids to ask for a bowl full of sugar in case one ran out the supply at home. Vice versa, the lender too could be seen making a request to facilitate supply an article needed urgently by him.

Having lived in government houses till my retirement, we never had a taste of neighbourly relations. The other day, I found delectable looking, cooked bitter gourd arranged beautifully on the dining table. I asked my wife if she had gone to the vegetable market to fetch it. “No. Our next door neighbours sent a container full!” she informed and added, “I returned the container with suitable amount of ghewar through the domestic help.”

Encouraged by the decent gesture, we too spared the lady finger growing in abundance in our backyard, to houses in our proximity. In return, we too began to receive sweet jamuns, juicy lemons and other eatables every now and then. The freshness of the veggies exchanged refreshed our interpersonal relations and bonds, and we also began to exchange smiles while passing by the neighbours’ houses. Earlier, it wasn’t so and we stayed in our own isles and cocoons of nonchalance.

During our sojourn in Seattle last fall, we came across an octogenarian couple staying in our neighbourhood. Within a few days of seeing one another, we became friendly. One day, the old lady walked up to the doorway of our house, with satchel sashaying on her shoulders. Very politely, she asked my daughter-in-law if she could leave a pack of vegetables that she grew in her courtyard at our doorstep, since they had enough to spare. “I won’t disturb you and would walk away having delivered the pack!” she hastened to add. How sweet!

Until recently, people in rural settings, as also in urban ones, would share common articles of use such as cots, beddings, utensils etc, during social gatherings, events, functions, especially weddings. People gladly offered their possessions and unhesitatingly asked to be provided by others around. Common medicines like tincture and caster oil found in certain known houses were also in demand. A telephone in the vicinity was a boon for everyone staying around. Not only in emergencies, but for casual connections also, this facility was availed, even if it was at the cost of slight discomfiture to the owner.

Another good thing I noticed in Sammamish, Seattle, was that if you expected guests in your house for some event, you may send a message in a community WhatsApp group requesting neighbours’ patience to bear with congestion on road in front of their houses. Niceties of behaviour are relevant at all times to civilised people but walking an extra mile for those who live close to you in your neighbourhood makes life more beautiful.

rajbirdeswal@hotmail.com

(The author is a retired IPS officer and an advocate who lives in Panchkula)