Spice of Life | Parenting tip: Being a good reflection for kids to mirror

A special word for mothers of girls – let them be at least partly bossy or stubborn if they are so – it evolves into leadership qualities and determination with time. Be resilient yourself; kids learn mostly by observation

Parenting is a full-time job. It comes without a salary, but the rewards in joy, love and belongingness are abundant. The ride has its ups and downs, just like everything else in life.

It takes a village to raise a child, so a child should have exposure to different people and situations. There can be difficulties in this line of action though as there are risky and tricky circumstances all around us. Proceed with care, common sense, intuitiveness and a basic confidence. (STOCK IMAGE/REPRESENTATIONAL IMAGE)

We, as parents, often complain that children spend too much time using gadgets. I admit I end up using the TV or mobile phone as his baby-sitter at times, but I realise it’s necessary to engage kids in a meaningful manner. I also take the liberty to advocate that boredom is of equal importance during childhood as later in life as it helps one sustain the monotony and repetitiveness so deeply embedded in our lives. However, excess of anything is bad. So, one must strive to provide children with all sorts of desirable experiences, allowing space for excitement, regularity and even boredom.

It takes a village to raise a child, so a child should have exposure to different people and situations. There can be difficulties in this line of action though as there are risky and tricky circumstances all around us. Proceed with care, common sense, intuitiveness and a basic confidence.

Here are a few pointers for overall betterment of our upcoming generation:

Addressing our inability to create time for them, I often advise to start with 15 minutes daily. Revive old games with them. Carrom, ludo, snakes and ladders, chess, hide and seek, etc. Let them colour, draw, dance or sing. If they insist on sticking to their mobile, then join them in their online game(s) itself. We might be uninterested, but just sitting patiently, actively gazing at the screen and showing interest in ‘their’ world pays off. Ensure that during those 15 minutes, everything uttered by you is non-judgmental, i.e. either constructive or uplifting. This serves to form a non-severable connection with the child.

Children learn social skills and self-reliance from intermingling with other kids. It serves to satisfy the human need of forging community bonds. Thankfully, schooling begins fulfilling these requirements. Before the child is in school, do hold child-meet ups or play dates for toddlers. After schooling begins, let them have some change during holidays. It’ll help them become street-smart, too.

Getting them to study is equally challenging. For effective study hours, ensure you play with them as well. Sitting with them only to make them study is usually insensitive, from their point of view. During study hours, sit with a notebook and write yourself, too, to get them interested.

Working on their emotional quotient is of paramount importance in the 21st century. For this, praise all their efforts and have them look at the brighter side of life, always. A special word for mothers of girls – let them be at least partly bossy or stubborn if they are so – it evolves into leadership qualities and determination with time. Be resilient yourself, too; kids learn mostly by observation.

Practice calm when they feel overwhelmed with sadness, anger or frustration. Don’t join the chaos – model patience. Let calmness always serve as your super-power, for that is what it is.

“Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk,” said Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. So, take care of your mental, physical and spiritual self – it will go a long way in ensuring peace for them, as well.

The writer is a Jagadhri-based freelance contributor and can be reached at reemaban@gmail.com