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Wednesday, Dec 11, 2019

'My secret fantasy is to wear skimpy clothes'

It’s no secret that Rahul Bose loves to experiment. Here, instead of one of his regular solemn interviews, he experiments with a wild and wacky one with Roshmila Bhattacharya.

entertainment Updated: Aug 12, 2008 12:05 IST
Roshmila Bhattacharya
Roshmila Bhattacharya
Hindustan Times

Known for avoiding hackneyed roles and taking on the daunting ones, it’s no secret that he loves to experiment. Here, instead of one of his regular solemn interviews, he experiments with a wild and wacky one. So, catch Rahul Bose in one of his most unusual performances, directed by Roshmila Bhattacharya.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
In real life, fallen in love. And danced in reel life. (Deadpan expression) I had just one-and-a-half steps in a song sequence for Maan Gaye Mughal-e-Azam and I needed three choreographers. The first two committed suicide.. the third had to be bribed with two flats in South Mumbai.

Ha, ha. So is Maan Gaye Mughal-e-Azam a sequel to the K Asif classic?
No, there are no similarities even though the earlier historical was far ahead of its time. K Asif must be thanking God for it. Maan Gaye Mughal-e-Azam is about a RAW agent who comes to a small town in Maharashtra to intercept a huge consignment of RDX. He falls in love with the lead actress of a theatre group led by the worst actor in the world, Paresh Rawal. Eventually, with the motley group of actors he saves the world. <b1>

What happens when Anarkali sings Pyaar kiya to darna kya in court?
She doesn’t, thank God or Salim would never have become the emperor, Akbar would have had to see a psychiatrist, and you wouldn’t have been able to trust Jodha Bai with a weapon.

How would you describe the modern-day Anarkali?
(Thoughtful pause) A heart full of mischief.

Madhubala or Mallika Sherawat as Anarkali?
(No pause) Madhubala.. the mind always covets what could have been.

Mallika Sherawat in Maan Gaye.. or Pyaar Ke Side/ Effects?
PKSE.. Trisha was more real, opinionated and feisty.

If PKSE had a prequel it would be called..
Hawas Ke Side/Effects. <b2>

If Jhankaar Beats had a sequel..
It would be called Deep Aur Neel Ki Amar Kahani because I.. Rishi.. wouldn’t be in it.

If Chameli returned home with you..
Let’s just say that if we were making a Hindi movie a bee would be sitting on a flower.

If you really ended up with a Japanese wife..
Well, since we’d be living in different countries, we would only meet now and Zen.

And if you were Munnabhai your Circuit would be..
Uma Thurman, but she would be a long Circuit not a short Circuit.

Hey, this interview is going crazy.
It is.

So what’s the craziest line you’ve ever heard?
“You aren’t that short?”

And the craziest line you’ve ever spoken?
(Sweetly) “I love doing interviews, especially this one.”

Thank you. So which is the funniest film you’ve seen which wasn’t meant to be a comedy?
It would definitely be the Star War series. It had phenomenally comedic performances, a screenplay that made you crack up and visual effects that anyone in Bollywood would be proud of.

What if you were offered a role in Star Wars Part 4?
(Mockingly) I’d walk on my knees to the Arctic circle in thanksgiving.

So the funniest actor would be..
(With a straight face) Sylvester Stallone, he wins the vote hands down.

Just imagine Shah Rukh Khan and you in a remake of Karan Arjun?
Eww! The audience would never forgive him. (Sternly) Now stop these flights of fancy and get serious.

Okay, since Heath Ledger is no more what if you were offered the Joker’s role in the next



(Frowns) Joker? Why not



Okay, Batman. Happy?

Not after I’d bribed the director to make me



You are hard to please. So what if I offered to make you Superman?
I’d think you were a part of the Chupa Rustam crew and making a bakra of me. Actually, I’m already a Superman so what’s the big deal.

What about a super spy then? James Bond?
I’d get myself a sex change and offer to play one of the Bond girls instead. <b3>

Ah, so that’s your secret fantasy?
No, my secret fantasy is to wear skimpy clothes, get rolled in the mud and get mercilessly beaten up by a bunch of big, burly guys.

(Laughs) Actually that’s no longer a fantasy since I’ve been playing rugby for the last 25 years.

Okay. Let’s fantasise that you were back to the 1970s..
(Cuts in) At least I’d have more hair on my head then.

Yeah, plenty. And you were also the newest superstar..
You mean Rajesh Khanna?

Yes, and you’d just given a blockbuster Aradhana..
(Interrupts) Hang on, if I’m doing Aradhana I absolutely refuse to do a double role. I’ll be modest and ask if I could play four roles.. father, son, mother and present sweetheart.

Also, I’d insist on directing the film, composing the music, overseeing the stunts and of course, being the choreographer.

Can we simply remake Everybody Says I’m Fine in Hindi. Then you can do everything.
(With a bow) Wonderful! In that case every time the hairdresser, Xen, reads someone’s mind we could break into a song. We could have 42 songs, the industry average.

As a bonus we’ll even let you play Devdas and give you your choice of Parvati and Chandramukhi?
I’ll play Devdas only if I can drink beer. As for Paro and Chandramukhi, you’d have to bribe a heroine royally or drug her unconscious or at least blackmail her to play my lost love and my lasting love. <b4>

Ah, so that’s how they got Kareena Kapoor, Mallika Sherawat and Perizaad Zorabian to pair up with you?
Don’t forget Konkana (Sen Sharma). They had to bribe, drug and blackmail her since we have done three movies — Mr & Mrs Iyer, Japanese Wife and now Dil Kabaddi — together.

If you were in Akshay Kumar’s shoes you would get Priyanka Chopra, Katrina Kaif and Deepika Padukone too.
But since the man is so tall, his shoes would be like a house. So I’d just roll out my matress and go to sleep in them. And the lovely ladies would feel slighted.

Your Anuraran won the National Award while Shaurya is a commercial dud. Comment.
I’m an actor and only responsible for my successes. If a film is good it’s me. If it’s a dud it wasn’t me, they morphed my face and put out a vicious and damaging MMS saying it featured Rahul Bose.

So is it you or a morphed image in the Maan Gaye Mughal-e-Azam posters?
Touché. It’s a happy me. Now can I run.