How should I get rid of anger?

Manik Bhatnagar from Lucknow wants to get rid of anger. Veena Minocha answers his query...

Manik Bhatnagar from Lucknow asks,

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Dear Ms Minocha, I know I am a very beautiful person inside me. There is so much goodness and generosity, so much love for others, and so much compassion for the underprivileged (I undertake a lot of social work), and yet I find that I cannot get rid of a deep anger inside, which boils over at the slightest pretext. If I see someone doing the slightest wrong thing, I work myself up so much that I just let fly at that person. Later, ofcourse, I do regret saying so many things that I could have avoided saying, and breaking friendships and relationships. I know I need to learn patience and tolerance, but what is the way? Please help me!

Veena Minochaanswers,

Dear Manik, do you know that we are supposed to have two dogs inside us. One is the good one, which leads us into the path of love, caring and sharing, and the other one is the opposite. It seems like the wrong one is always barking trying to upset all the good that the good one is doing in your life. Your job is to be very firm with the bad one, and keep commanding it to be quiet, for everyone around has the right to do or say as they wish. Though you may have the best intentions of reforming the whole of humanity, please remember that each one has to go through their own learning experiences, to add any value to their stock of wisdom in living life. Your learning experience is to leave people alone when you perceive them doing something which you consider wrong. For that very experience may be the right thing they require to evolve into better humans, by learning through their mistakes.

I would strongly recommend that you carry on doing all the good work that you have done so far, and concentrate all your energies into this exercise. This is what is giving you a good credit balance of your wisdom and learning, and you are creating a bank balance of good karma through it. Please do not try to offset it by breaking your relationships through bad temper, which you obviously seem to regret later.

A small tip would be in order. When you start to get agitated , try to wait for seven seconds before you react. Most of the time, this brief period of time is enough for the unwelcome thought to disappear, if you do not pay any attention to it. Think of it as happening to someone else, and forget about it. This will need constant practice, as bad habits are easily formed but are like nails in our beings, which always leave a hole, even when removed.

Please confront your temper, and command it to become sweet and loving towards all, and especially forgiving to those who cannot see the difference between right and wrong!