E-Paper
Joy of marrying into the services
?It was a two months at a time camping style of existence. Any officer proceeding on leave gave you the keys of his home and you moved in, with your immediate necessities and lived a life off suitcases, virtually. In this way one might have had five changes of homes before one had a home of one?s own, but the camaraderie and adventure, instead of feeling homeless and adrift. Thus, turning people away or turning away from people is non-existent in the life of this wife. It is the surroundings we live in,? comments Poonam Chand, the wife of a senior officer, stationed at Gopalpur-on-sea.
“It was a two months at a time camping style of existence. Any officer proceeding on leave gave you the keys of his home and you moved in, with your immediate necessities and lived a life off suitcases, virtually. In this way one might have had five changes of homes before one had a home of one’s own, but the camaraderie and adventure, instead of feeling homeless and adrift. Thus, turning people away or turning away from people is non-existent in the life of this wife. It is the surroundings we live in,” comments Poonam Chand, the wife of a senior officer, stationed at Gopalpur-on-sea.
“In this pollution free surrounding, as one finds in any cantonment I am not isolated. The services include people from all parts of the country and I have learnt to speak in Bengali, Tamil, Marathi, not as a hobby but because of our mingling and living amongst people. Even speaking to the household help or going shopping has contributed to it.”
Yet this sartorial, secure looking ambience is not without problems. Every time these empty crates and boxes are pulled out of the store room and the wives begin the customary packing ritual with transfer orders being given to their spouses, the nagging fear of finding a proper school for their children looms large on their minds. With more and more of these wives joining the work force, the problem is compounded further. “ Each postings had meant a loss of seniority and even return to basic salary,” laments Jyotsna.
The discontinuity in studies and these change of educational standards they state, leaves them with a choice of either staying back for the sake of the children’s education or else choosing the option of losing out on mainstream competitive entry. “ But that is a temporary feature,” reasons Veena Sharma, the wife of Group captain O.N. Sharma, whose children have found this ‘discontinuity’ a temporary setback that they soon overcame. “As duty is very important to them,” adds Neera Chhibbar, “We wives shoulder all these responsibilities from the beginning and children’s exams and studies are taken care of by us everywhere posting or no posting.”
Even Shikha Saikia’s summation, “By and large, most service children are doing well and feel no disadvantage due to these frequent changes of schooling. These children, like their mothers, have learnt to adjust fast to a change of situation.”
Having learnt to make things work in their favour,this class of wives has learnt to stretch family finances to the fullest. “The meager pay packet is true but then, we wives are qualified people and pick up suitable jobs to supplement it.
Instead of assembling homes with expensive bric-a-brac, making it into a picture gallery, the display shelves are lined with mementos and collections that have been pieced together with sentiment.”
“We do not go into all that arty stuff,” is an oft heard remark as she guides a guest to examine a selection of trophies, bamboo root figurines or driftwood artifacts that dot the corners of her home. The dexterous turn that she has given to used artillery shells, or hand grenades, or house plants around her home, make her the envy of any designer. Her home reflects her family motto, where the man of the house is a no-nonsense, honest-to-goodness breadwinner and his partner is a pretty belle whom he had entrusted with the pleasure of turning empty shell into a home that he longs to return to, and turned every adverse situation into a matter of easy success and cheer.
