No diamonds, only men would do!
There lies a bond between a man and woman that goes beyond romance and marriage, explores Shagun Dayal. Surferspeak | A woman's true buddy?india Updated: Jan 25, 2006 17:53 IST
'I'll be there for you...'cause you're there for me too'. This simple yet beautiful line from the Friends title track reflects that nothing can be as pure as friendship. There lies a bond between a man and woman that goes beyond romance and marriage. They can be great friends too!
Now, let me skip to the nucleus. The interactive blog on HindustanTimes.com regarding who were better friends with women - men or women, got hordes of responses. The larger slice of response was from women who clamored that they made better friends with males and that is purely 'Platonic'.
Let's hit the core of this issue. I am not here to talk about the done-to-death 'Rahul and Anjali' story. I mean friendship "jahan kuch kuch nahin hota hai". Or to set the record straight - "Kya ek ladka aur lakdi kabhi dost ho sakte hain?" Sounds crass in Hindi, but we women still get sensitized about all the schmaltz and our sidekicks.
Sidekick - yeah the firang slang for 'buddy' is claiming its dignified status in India. Girls are eagerly introducing their male friends to understanding mothers as (may sound clichéd) "just friends". And trust me, it's fine with parents who once fed their darling daughters with never-ceasing commandments. Now, their rooms have dangling snaps of their guy friends, revision get-togethers, river rafting trips and late night coffee-omelet sessions.
So, what makes the opposite sex attract? What ignited the holy fire sans any sparks? Our reader Pallavi, from Faridabad, laid my doubts to rest. She feels men are never jealous of their female friends. Yes, it's oft noted that two women may turn green-eyed over downright trivial issues like who's got whiter teeth, sturdier nails or popularity levels among their peers! Now, men will be least bothered about this and all they have on mind is to treasure the dosti that is pure and chaste.
Though, Nakul from Mumbai has a different take on this matter. He feels "guys make better friends because the opposite sex can understand feelings, emotions better. There are certain things girls like to share with men rather than girl pals." Now, these certain things could be their personal problems mostly heart aches and can be relieved only when women have a masculine shoulder to cry on.
Psychologists believe that women are always in need of self-assurance. They need to be perked up frequently and what better than a virile back up to neutralise their mood swings and jazzing up sullen spirits. It is the 'understanding factor' that augments the positive vibrations between men and women.
Pooja from Des Moines, US, validates it with another thought provoking point.
How men make best buddies
*Men unlike women have less ego-hassles and are free from jealousy.
She says that guys are "straight thinkers" and free from the vice of "comparison."
Woman surely belongs to the complicated ilk and with the case of diamondsbeing their best friends could further entangle their amity with their own lot. Who got the weightier and the brighter can lead to unpalatable sentiments. With men being men, things can never get murky, on this account at least, with women.
It may sound a breakthrough phenomenon to some! Friendship was always pure and unconditional. But, we have warped its meaning and gave it a lot of politically incorrect undercurrents. We'll soon realize this when we stop raising eyebrows after noticing two colleagues of the opposite sex talking in a secluded corridor for an unacceptable six minutes!! What say?
First Published: Jan 19, 2006 10:55 IST