Not right now

It is the equation that explains why some people are born procrastinators. And we should know, because this editorial has been in the pipeline for a while now.

U=EV/ID. Is it an equation that holds the key to the perpetual motion machine, could it unlock the secret of cold fusion or the sell-by date of the Hadron Collider, you are wondering. Well, we have news for you. It is the equation that explains why some people are born procrastinators. And we should know, because this editorial has been in the pipeline for a while now. Procrastination, an art recognised by the Bard of Avon as the thief of time, is not an affliction of the bone-idle or the extra-cautious. The lazy, that is most of us, don’t give a toss whether a job is done or not. The over-careful put it off for worry that it won’t be well done.

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No, the procrastinator is one who feels that he can get things done but just doesn’t. So next time you put off a task that could cost you your job, study the formula that explains why you have a death wish.

‘U’ for utility is equal to the product of ‘E’ for expectation and ‘V’ for value of completion divided by ‘I’ for immediacy and ‘D’ for delay. There you are, simple wasn’t it? So next time you get pulled up for putting off till tomorrow what you could have done today, just trot out the old equation. Now your boss or spouse may be a spoilsport and ask irritatingly how this equation actually explains why you are a lazy sod. Well, we’ll tell you. Tomorrow. Or make that next week.