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Sailing through troubled times

The telltale signs of a marriage heading for the rocks come in many forms. Aruna Rathod on dealing with the cracks.
Hindustan Times | By Aruna Rathod, Mumbai
UPDATED ON APR 02, 2008 11:47 AM IST

Marriages have become very fragile today. The telltale signs of a marriage heading for the rocks come in many forms.

Snapping at each other at home and in public, criticising each other in front of friends, bored in each other's company - these are some of the signs of a marriage that's dying. The cracks begin with minor things - financial burdens, children pressures, coping with daily mundaneness.

As they widen, the pressure builds and two people who once thought they were in love, fall out of love .

Suddenly, all the years of hard work invested to build a foundation, collapses as if a earthquake had hit it.

K Gayatri says, "We were young and full of beans when we got married. Ajay was 22 and ready to take on the world. But now having lived together for 10 years, we find it wasn't worth it. Maybe we were too young." Today, both feel that lot can be accomplished by themselves.

Too many demands
The trend of being ‘Double Income No Kids' or DINK with deadlines and hectic partying takes take its toll.

"With divorce becoming easy, people are marrying on a whim or even under social pressure," says Sheela Kumar, who has been happily married for 25 years.

She feels the same amount of time today demands much more out of a couple. "We married, had children and carried on without expecting too much from our partner," she reasons.

Another reason for fragile marriages could be that couples are spending more time away from one another. Any time together is spent sleeping - literally.

A Evelyn says, "Communication is almost nil. Mobile phones and laptops are used to keep in touch with the colleagues but not with your partner."

Make the effort
When you observe cracks in your marriage, it's time to make an effort to revive old feelings. Remember the times when you really enjoyed each other's company. Take a holiday together leaving behind the stress.

Another way of filling the cracks is to give each other space. It's not as if earlier marriages didn't face pressure but partners more tolerant.

It's never too late to try to mend a relationship. The first step is to try to mend it.

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