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Science of infatuation

If your heart races when your eyes meet and you eagerly await such moments, a huge crush could be underway.
By Aruna Rathod | Hindustan Times, Mumbai
UPDATED ON FEB 21, 2008 06:19 PM IST

Your heart races when your eyes meet. You think of nothing but the prospect of watching his face the entire day. You reach office earlier so that you can see him come in to work- all these are signs of a huge crush coming your way.

It's a crush - that's the only way to describe the pounding in your heart, the buzz in your ears and all those circuitous ways you take to the pantry for your afternoon cuppa.

Reciprocal
But hold on! Does your crush show the same interest in you or is it just one-sided blind admiration?

If your crush does not reciprocate your feelings and has no romantic interest in you, it hurts and bothers you on many levels, affecting normal life and work.

Worse, after harbouring hope that your crush will eventually like you or even fall in love with you, you realise that the chances of getting involved romantically are dismally low.

Look beyond the obvious
Shalini Bhargav, an advertising professional says, "I fell for this cool dude in office because he seemed very distant and aloof. I tried to attract him and succeeded, but he was on his own trip. He was into biking and had his set of friends but didn't feel the same way about me."

But it still hurts - you still want to meet and be with that person every time. At the same time, you realise that the healthy thing for you to do is to get over your crush once and for all.

Bossy times
For Manoj Kumar, joining an ad agency after his management degree was a terrific way to begin his career.

He had a woman boss and it was a new and challenging experience. "Everything about her shouted confidence and success. Before I realised it, I had a huge crush. I tried telling her but after a couple of times, I realised that it was nothing new for her. She was used to people fawning over her. Eventually, I decided to apply for another job," confesses Manoj.

Steps to freedom
If you realise it's a crush, then the earlier you get over it, the better it will be for you. Try these steps to help you tide over the situation.

Rationalise your thoughts
Why do you feel that way? Is the guy/girl just too good looking? What attracts you to him/her? It takes a lot of time to get over these emotions. Consciously try to avoid thinking about him.

Don't fantasise
If you dream of spending time together or of dating, you will only worsen the situation as you know the dreams won't be realised.

Temporary aberration
Crushes are normally temporary. You will keep having them irrespective of age. The earlier you realise it's a crush and condition yourself to snap out of it, the better it will for you in the future.

Refocus and get busy
Go shop ping with friends who don't know about the crush, (so you don't moan about him), spend time with other people, and pur sue your professional, educational and social goals. Keep busy to prevent boredom, because when you get bored, the mind turns to negative and weak thoughts.

Value yourself. No one is worth losing your head over.

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