She is never going to be loyal

You’re just too blindly in love with her, says Candice Pinto.

india Updated: Jun 28, 2010 15:20 IST
Candice Pinto
Candice Pinto
Hindustan Times

My name is Ravi. I’m 29 years old. I never believed in love and thought I'd only marry a girl of my parents’ choice. Three years ago, I met a girl on the train while coming to Mumbai from Lucknow. She is from Bhopal. We had a little chat and shared our numbers. A few days after reaching Mumbai, she called to say she was in a great pain and had broken up with her boyfriend. I supported her in every sense. Then she told me that she loved me and we had sex. I decided to marry her. One day, a guy called me saying that he was her boyfriend and that she was cheating on both of us. She confirmed this but said she wanted to continue with me. I even took loans to help her financially. Now she has fallen for someone else and wants to marry him. I don’t want this to happen. I am totally broken. Please help me.

To begin with, I must say you do have a lot of patience or you’re just too blindly in love with her. It’s about time you open your eyes. I can see that she is never going to be loyal to you or be with you. She's just using you and your love for her. The distance you'll share makes things easier for her to do whatever she likes. I suggest you leave her now and trust me, you will find yourself a much nicer girl to love. It’s just up to you to let go of her. It will be painful but not as bad as this pain that you’re going through.

I am 23 and have liked a girl for the past three years. I talked to her some days ago and told her that but she said that she had a boyfriend. She told me that she too used to like me. Now we talk and have a good friendship. My mom also likes her. She said that her boyfriend belongs to another caste and she won’t go against her parents to marry him. I told her that I’d like to marry her but she said that she couldn’t forget him and say yes to me. I advised her not to get too involved in the relationship because it would hurt her a lot afterwards.

She is well aware of the consequences and you know the outcome. But now just be a little patient and give this situation time to takes its turn. They are together at the moment and they both know for a fact that they have no future. So rather than being pushy, stand by her as a friend. She knows you love her, but let her decide for herself too.

A guy proposed to me, but I turned him down at that time. Now I’ve started liking him too but am too scared to express my feelings. Please give me some way by which I can get to know whether he likes me or not.

Rather than playing the guessing game, you might as well go and tell him how you feel about him before it’s too late. And if he really loves you a lot, I assure you he will be more than pleased seeing you and knowing how you feel about him.

I’m 16 years old and in relationship with a boy who is 15. We’ve been together for six months. But now he ignores me whenever I call him and when I ask him to meet me and clear our problem, he doesn’t want to meet. Please tell me whether I should continue this relationship.

If he is throwing his weight around, I suggest you cut ties with this guy for a while. The less importance you give him, the better it would be. He will come back to you.

I am 15 years old and in love with a girl. I was friends with her and she used to talk to me but now she doesn’t have time for me? I love her so much that I can’t afford to lose her. How can I make her fall in love with me? Please help?

The fact is that you love her and she doesn’t love you back. You can’t make a person fall in love just like that. If she considers you to be just a friend, then you might be expecting a lot from her as a friend. Maybe that’s why she isn’t spending time with you. Tell her how you feel.

First Published: Jun 28, 2010 13:27 IST