What does my aunt want from me?
1. I am 27-years-old, living as a bachelor in Dubai. My uncle, who also lives here, is 55 and my aunt who is nearly 45 lives in India with her grown-up daughters. She comes to Dubai once a year and whenever I go to meet her she watches me very carefully. Moreover, she also gets very excited after seeing me and keeps complimenting me. I want to know if is she really wants sex with me because if she does then I am game. I want to know the meaning of things she keeps saying to me and what I do I interpret from her behaviour?
Marital problems taking its toll
2. I am a traditional guy from India. Like others, I also landed in the US for my education. After careful assessment, I got married to a girl from my city but a different community. There is a cultural gap but not language gap, but my parents thought that they are irrelevant as the girl is also highly educated. I helped her during deepest and darkest times in her career; gave all the support to stand on her feet. I am not asking her for any favors, as she is now my better half. For worse or better, I am amazed how frequently she rushes to conclusions and displays emotional outburst when we discuss any issue. My wife is not on good terms with my parents (in India) and cares little about them. No problem there, "adjustment" is the keyword. Every time she argues, she threatens to get divorced, and go on her own. I tell her, don't rush and run away from problems. This has been happening for eight years now. Before my wife got pregnant, I warned her that if she intends to separate then let's not have a baby. Only after she promised that she would never utter the word "divorce" we planned a baby. Now things are getting worse. Her parents never tell her how to behave; but preach me to look after their daughter well. They don't get the reality that my wife is "SO INDEPENDENT" that she always wants her way. It's me who is in a miserable position. Now, what's your advice on this?
A simple guy from India
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'I don't want to feel my girl's body'
1. I'm going to get married in few months but I'm having this strange feeling that my sex life won't be good. The reason I think this way, is that, my fiancée is very slim. Although, we haven't had sex yet, whenever I feel her body, I don't feel good. I don't even feel good while kissing her because her upper lip feels rough. Last week, for the first time I felt her breasts, but they are so small, that I don't want to feel them again. I have no doubts that I'll marry this girl but I want to get over this feeling. Please advise.
Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla: You got a few chances to paw your fiancé and you got disappointed because for you sex is nothing but flesh pumping for pleasure. You better get real and redefine your values about the role of sexuality in married relationship. Anyway your problem is minor. Gaining weight is no problem. It is losing weight, which is the real problem. Just pamper your fiancé with high calorie diet like cakes. Pastries, 'rosogullas' 'jalebis' etc. and see the result for yourself. The problem of upper lip can be taken care of by any good beautician. Almost all the girls go for threading.
Bothered by a nosy problem
2. I am a 22-year-old, average looking girl. For some reason within the past 2-3 years, I have developed major complex about my nose. I feel it's super fat (when I know its not that bad) and I feel it turns off people. I have met this guy on chat and we are soon to meet. He has seen my pictures and we talk so often and he likes me too. But I feel when I meet him; I will lose confidence because of my nose. I may then end up smiling less and can get too conscious. What if he rejects me because of my nose? I know it sounds funny but these mental issues of mine are controlling me. Please help!
Reply From Dr. Prem Lata Chawla: Unnecessary preoccupation with body parts, which are actually normal, is a well-defined psychiatric disorder. You should see a psychiatrist and get proper treatment for getting rid of your problem. The treatment would include medication along with counseling depending upon the final diagnosis arrived at by the treating psychiatrist.
First Published: Oct 23, 2006 14:50 IST