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Guest Column by Karishma Kuenzang: No uterus, no opinion
With the US Supreme Court overturning the constitutional right of abortion, a millennial writer shares her experience of pregnancy termination in Delhi
Like most middle-class millennials, I grew up in a space in which there were no public discussions of sexual health. So with sex a taboo subject, there was no way for me to bring up an accidental pregnancy (accidental because we were being safe) when I was in my twenties.
Judgement day
After two anxious weeks of waiting for my monthly cycle, I decided to take a test. Since I was living with parents, I did the test in a mall, calling a friend when I saw the dreaded pink lines form.
Panic set in when I realised I didn’t have the means to raise a child. I knew that being a single mother was probably the ideal scenario for me going forward, but I was not ready for it mentally, financially and physically, at that time.
Then, there was a frantic search for a non-judgemental gynaecologist, who would not charge an exorbitant amount (I finally paid ₹10,000), and who wasn’t a quack. I met at least five female doctors. The first asked me my wedding date, the next gave me shade for not being safe, the third couldn’t avoid the “tch tch” tone. All this while I couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt for opting for an abortion.
The gynaecologist I finally settled on suggested that I abort via pills. But there was a five per cent chance that it wouldn’t work. Two days after the pills were supposed to kick in, I got a series of strong cramps while at work—I didn’t know how to ask for time off for it—and thought the abortion was successful. But the pills failed. I had to do the procedure.
Decision time
Going through an abortion is one thing. Doing it without a support system is a nightmare. I didn’t tell my friends till weeks after, only to learn that many of them had gone through the same thing. Which made me think how much easier it would have been for all of us if we could have just ignored societal conditioning.
Did having the abortion change my life? Of course. It was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made. It also helped me make better life decisions, partner-wise.
I am glad that I at least had the option to abort legally (up to 20 weeks of the pregnancy), without needing the consent of any man—partner/father/whoever. The judgement still trickles through, but the decision stays mine.
Karishma Kuenzang is a member of Team HT Brunch, hoping to adopt at some point.
I Say Chaps is a column that allows passionate, creative people a platform to have their say.
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From HT Brunch, July 9, 2022
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