Couple therapist shares the biggest sign of healthy relationship: 'It's not about how much you love your partner'

A healthy relationship isn’t just about love or avoiding fights. A couple therapist explains what truly shows a partnership is strong and lasting.

Love is often seen as the foundation of any romantic relationship, yet it's not the only factor that determines whether a partnership thrives. Baya Voce, a relationship expert and couples therapist, shares in one of her Instagram posts the biggest sign that shows a relationship is genuinely healthy.

What's the true sign of a healthy relationship

Baya explains that the biggest sign of a healthy relationship isn't how much you love each other, how often you have sex, or whether you fight. "It's how you make up. That's the difference," she says.

According to her, in healthy relationships, conflict doesn't feel like the end of the world. "It feels like Tuesday. You get off track, and you both know how to come back. The biggest sign of relational health is that you can rupture and recover without one person turning into a courtroom lawyer and the other person climbing out of the bathroom window," Baya explains.

She adds, “It means you can say, 'That hurt me,' without your partner saying, 'Well, maybe you're just too sensitive.' It means you can be mad without making it unsafe, and you can disagree without it becoming a character assassination.”

How do healthy couples navigate conflict

Healthy couples, she points out, don't avoid disconnection they expect it. "They know how to move through it. They trust each other to make their way back together so that when inevitable ruptures happen, you're not constantly worried about whether or not you're going to be able to feel heard or understood or get what you need. You actually know you will. It might just take some time," Baya says.

She advises, "So if you're asking, 'Is this relationship healthy?' don't just look at the good days. Look at what happens after a fight, a misstep, after someone totally blows it. Do they come back and repair it with accountability, willingness, and some version of, 'Okay, that was a hot mess, let's try again.' That's the sign. Not perfection, not performance, just two people who are committed to finding their way back to each other over and over and over again."

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.