Woman stands up to husband and MIL calling her ‘desperate’ for getting a haircut, Reddit calls husband ‘a douche canoe’

Woman gets abused by her husband and mother-in-law over her haircut and for being popular at a party. She finally decides enough is enough.

Hairstyle is a personal choice for both men and women, a personal liberty that should ideally not be infringed upon even after marriage. However, that is exactly what a woman and mother of two faced at her in-laws after she decided to get a haircut.

She narrated the experience on the popular subreddit, r/AITAH, where she was met with overwhelming support.

Simple haircut snowballs into family drama

The woman began her post by stating that she has two children, aged six and three, which suggests that she has been married for a while. Her hair was dark brown and used to reach her waist, and after putting off cutting it for years, one day she finally decided to get it done, as well as lighten it up a bit.

“It is now the length of my shoulders, and I really like it,” she expressed in the rant. However, her husband and mother-in-law did not share her enthusiasm over the new look. They apparently told her that she looked “desperate,” with the husband further likening the appearance to that of a “sl*t” and stating that she was “dressing for attention.”

AITAH for telling my husband and mother-in-law, but I don’t care about their opinion of my hair
by u/Grace_lea in AITAH

Things came to a head when the couple attended the husband’s work party together, where the woman wore a black jumpsuit. She also curled her hair for the occasion. While her kids loved her look, her husband felt that she was “doing too much.”

After dropping the children off at the woman’s sister’s place, the two arrived at the party, where the woman was complimented on her looks by both men and women. At this point, the husband flipped on his position.

“Then my husband has the audacity to say, ‘I told her to cut her hair. I love it,’” the woman wrote in her post. She was stunned by his statement but did not think much of it. Later, when she was speaking to his boss, whom she had met thrice in the past, the husband grabbed her hand under the table and squeezed it. This made her embarrassed, and she simply stopped talking.

After getting in the car, the woman claimed that her husband had some choice words for her. “He said, ‘You embarrassed me. You talk too much. People like you better when you’re not talking.’ And then he said, ‘Too many people were staring at you. I hate your haircut.’”

At that moment, Dove Cameron’s song Too Much was playing in the car, and the woman claimed that she had an epiphany. She told her husband at the spot, “I don’t care if you like it or not, just shut up.”

When they picked up the children and reached home, the mother-in-law was waiting for them. The husband narrated the incident to her after sending the children to their room, and the lady took her son’s side and told the woman that she had “embarrassed him.”

“And then I told both of them I don’t care, I think I look good, and this is not your choice to make, shut up,” is how she concluded her post, before asking the opinion of fellow Redditors if she was in the wrong for doing so.

Redditors take the woman’s side

Netizens on Reddit found too many red flags in the husband’s behaviour to ignore.

“Calling you desperate and a slur for cutting your hair? Grabbing your hand under the table to shut you up? That's not a husband, that's a controlling bully,” highlighted one person.

“He noticed you were feeling self-confident and happy with yourself after you cut your hair and kept nagging you deliberately to bring you down a notch. He knows you weren’t embarrassing yourself at the party; he just used whatever insult would exasperate you enough to make you never do something for yourself again,” claimed another.

A third insisted, “Your husband is emotionally abusive, jealous, and rude af! Get in marriage counselling. His behaviour towards you is unacceptable.”

“This is straight-up emotional abuse. Your husband doesn’t seem to like you. He’s insecure and, quite frankly, a douche canoe. He’s seeing you shine, and he wants to dim it so he can feel superior. And he got it all from his mother,” claimed a fourth.

“Yes, Queen, you handle that correctly. Your husband is feeling insecure … do not allow him to belittle you,” stated a fifth.

Note to readers: This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.