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Photos: A transgender man’s journey towards becoming himself

Seven years ago, Harrison Massie, now 29, started his journey "to feel more like myself." Transitioning from female to male was never about trading one gender for another, instead it was a journey towards fulfilling a longing to feel more comfortable in his own body and a desire to have certain masculine features such as a flat chest. Over seven years, Harrison went from being the "pretty girl" in school to becoming his true self, growing a "beautiful red beard" and getting close to finally be able to swim in public.

Updated on: Oct 13, 2018 10:33 AM IST

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1/13

Harrison Massie and Heaven at home in St. Louis, Missouri in 2012. For Harrison, 29, transitioning from female to male was never about trading genders. Seven years ago, Massie started a journey “to feel more like myself.” “I’m not embarrassed to say that I was ever a woman... Ultimately it’s a part of who I am and how I was raised, and I love having the perspective of both genders.” (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

Updated on Oct 13, 2018 10:33 AM

Harrison Massie and Heaven at home in St. Louis, Missouri in 2012. For Harrison, 29, transitioning from female to male was never about trading genders. Seven years ago, Massie started a journey “to feel more like myself.” “I’m not embarrassed to say that I was ever a woman... Ultimately it’s a part of who I am and how I was raised, and I love having the perspective of both genders.” (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

2/13

Left: Harrison, 22, in the shower at his mother’s apartment. Right: Harrison, 24, and Heaven in 2013. As he embarked on this journey, Sara Swaty, a photographer and friend, set off to capture it, frame by frame, year after year. “In my previous work, I had never had the opportunity to connect with anyone so deeply and document their transition from the very beginning,” Swaty said. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

Updated on Oct 13, 2018 10:33 AM

Left: Harrison, 22, in the shower at his mother’s apartment. Right: Harrison, 24, and Heaven in 2013. As he embarked on this journey, Sara Swaty, a photographer and friend, set off to capture it, frame by frame, year after year. “In my previous work, I had never had the opportunity to connect with anyone so deeply and document their transition from the very beginning,” Swaty said. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

3/13

Harrison applies shaving foam in 2012. “I started shaving before any hair had shown itself, because I wanted more to grow. Shaving is a wonderful feeling until you start actually growing hair, then it's painful and you break out, but I’ve always wanted a beard,” Harrison said. He added that he longed to feel more comfortable in his own body and wanted to have certain masculine features such as a flat chest. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

Updated on Oct 13, 2018 10:33 AM

Harrison applies shaving foam in 2012. “I started shaving before any hair had shown itself, because I wanted more to grow. Shaving is a wonderful feeling until you start actually growing hair, then it's painful and you break out, but I’ve always wanted a beard,” Harrison said. He added that he longed to feel more comfortable in his own body and wanted to have certain masculine features such as a flat chest. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

4/13

Harrison, posing for photograph in 2012. In a 2016 study published in the journal LGBT Health, 31% of transgender individuals surveyed said they experienced a moderate amount of rejection from their families and 14% said they experienced rejection. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

Updated on Oct 13, 2018 10:33 AM

Harrison, posing for photograph in 2012. In a 2016 study published in the journal LGBT Health, 31% of transgender individuals surveyed said they experienced a moderate amount of rejection from their families and 14% said they experienced rejection. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

5/13

Testosterone, a needle and alcohol swab on a table in 2015. A recent US study found that roughly half of transgender male teens have attempted suicide at least once. Rejection from family and relatives is common for many trans people, but that was not the case for Harrison who always had the support of his loved ones. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

Updated on Oct 13, 2018 10:33 AM

Testosterone, a needle and alcohol swab on a table in 2015. A recent US study found that roughly half of transgender male teens have attempted suicide at least once. Rejection from family and relatives is common for many trans people, but that was not the case for Harrison who always had the support of his loved ones. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

6/13

Harrison, 28, and his father Robbin together after lunch at Mission Taco, St. Louis. “Harrison’s been my soulmate, my companion,” Robbin, a retired teacher in his sixties said. “He said he was transitioning and wanted to become a boy and I was fine with that.” However his mother Stephanie said it was really hard at first to process Harrison’s decision to transition. “It was like the death of that child.” (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

Updated on Oct 13, 2018 10:33 AM

Harrison, 28, and his father Robbin together after lunch at Mission Taco, St. Louis. “Harrison’s been my soulmate, my companion,” Robbin, a retired teacher in his sixties said. “He said he was transitioning and wanted to become a boy and I was fine with that.” However his mother Stephanie said it was really hard at first to process Harrison’s decision to transition. “It was like the death of that child.” (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

7/13

Left: Harrison, 21, looking out the window in 2011. Right: Harrison, 25, on his car. “Growing up in Saint Louis shaped me as a human... It’s truly my home,” Harrison said. A tight-knit group, Harrison’s friends were hardly surprised by his decision to transition. They were taking cues from things he would say or do and, in a way, they saw it coming. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

Updated on Oct 13, 2018 10:33 AM

Left: Harrison, 21, looking out the window in 2011. Right: Harrison, 25, on his car. “Growing up in Saint Louis shaped me as a human... It’s truly my home,” Harrison said. A tight-knit group, Harrison’s friends were hardly surprised by his decision to transition. They were taking cues from things he would say or do and, in a way, they saw it coming. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

8/13

Harrison and Sandra Manzoni embrace at their home in 2018. “Sandra is the dream. I never thought I could actually have Sandra -she is everything I've always hoped for in a partner.” Harrison recounted how nervous he was when he first asked Manzoni out, telling a friend how he couldn’t breathe around her. Now, a year after their engagement, “I’ve learned how to breathe with her in the house,” he said jokingly. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

Updated on Oct 13, 2018 10:33 AM

Harrison and Sandra Manzoni embrace at their home in 2018. “Sandra is the dream. I never thought I could actually have Sandra -she is everything I've always hoped for in a partner.” Harrison recounted how nervous he was when he first asked Manzoni out, telling a friend how he couldn’t breathe around her. Now, a year after their engagement, “I’ve learned how to breathe with her in the house,” he said jokingly. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

9/13

Harrison talks with Elle (L) and Mackenzie (C) in Elle's apartment in 2015. I have very long-lasting friendships in my life. About nine of us have been friends for over ten years now," Harrison said. It's “very important to me because we’ve been through good times and very traumatic times together.” (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

Updated on Oct 13, 2018 10:33 AM

Harrison talks with Elle (L) and Mackenzie (C) in Elle's apartment in 2015. I have very long-lasting friendships in my life. About nine of us have been friends for over ten years now," Harrison said. It's “very important to me because we’ve been through good times and very traumatic times together.” (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

10/13

Harrison, 22, reacts as his friend George gives him a testosterone shot in 2011. As he started his hormone therapy, his friends met for the first months of injections, in celebration and to help him get comfortable with the process. “When I first started it was painful and scary because I’ve never liked needles or shots, but you just get used to it. It’s everyday life now,” he said. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

Updated on Oct 13, 2018 10:33 AM

Harrison, 22, reacts as his friend George gives him a testosterone shot in 2011. As he started his hormone therapy, his friends met for the first months of injections, in celebration and to help him get comfortable with the process. “When I first started it was painful and scary because I’ve never liked needles or shots, but you just get used to it. It’s everyday life now,” he said. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

11/13

Harrison Massie, 27, serves a cocktail working at Planter's House in 2017. “When I first started transitioning I couldn’t find a job for the life of me. Anytime I tried to explain to an interviewer that my deadname (pre-transition name) wasn’t the name I went by, they just got confused and wouldn’t hire me,” Harrison said. “Craft bartending is finally a place where I can express myself and finally be appreciated.” (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

Updated on Oct 13, 2018 10:33 AM

Harrison Massie, 27, serves a cocktail working at Planter's House in 2017. “When I first started transitioning I couldn’t find a job for the life of me. Anytime I tried to explain to an interviewer that my deadname (pre-transition name) wasn’t the name I went by, they just got confused and wouldn’t hire me,” Harrison said. “Craft bartending is finally a place where I can express myself and finally be appreciated.” (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

12/13

Harrison, 27, and Sandra embrace at a Pride party. Healthcare was also among a big concerns. With patchy coverage, access to testosterone affordably was often hard and he ended up paying for much of it himself. Encouraged by friends and eager to put an end to the pain caused by years of wearing a tight binder around his chest, Harrison recently started a “GoFundMe.com” page to raise money for surgery. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

Updated on Oct 13, 2018 10:33 AM

Harrison, 27, and Sandra embrace at a Pride party. Healthcare was also among a big concerns. With patchy coverage, access to testosterone affordably was often hard and he ended up paying for much of it himself. Encouraged by friends and eager to put an end to the pain caused by years of wearing a tight binder around his chest, Harrison recently started a “GoFundMe.com” page to raise money for surgery. (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

13/13

So far, Harrison has raised $8,330 surpassing his goal of $8,000. Over these seven years, Harrison went from being the “pretty girl” in school to becoming his true self. “It’s beyond luck, karma, blessed, whatever you believe in,” he said. “I honestly never thought I would get to this point in my life.” (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

Updated on Oct 13, 2018 10:33 AM

So far, Harrison has raised $8,330 surpassing his goal of $8,000. Over these seven years, Harrison went from being the “pretty girl” in school to becoming his true self. “It’s beyond luck, karma, blessed, whatever you believe in,” he said. “I honestly never thought I would get to this point in my life.” (Sara Swaty / REUTERS)

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