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7 actions that’ll ruin your first date

Getting ready for your first date? Here are the biggest blunders that will land you right at the line of fire. Whether you’re a Brad Pitt clone or an average looking guy, here are some blunders that’ll ruin your chances of a second date.

sex and relationships Updated: Nov 06, 2011 01:19 IST
Shara Ashraf
Shara Ashraf
Hindustan Times

Finally the hottie that you’d been longing to date has agreed to go out with you? Here’s what will make her say ‘he’s not my guy’ as soon as you meet her. Whether you’re a Brad Pitt clone or an average looking guy, here are some blunders that’ll ruin your chances of a second date. And, to help you go smooth, our experts tell you the right fix for some situations.

Arrive Late
Leave home late, get stuck in the traffic, or wrap up an urgent task while on your way while your date’s waiting (read fuming) at a restaurant. Trust us, you’ll kill your chances by almost 80% even as you’ll make a breathless entry. Bombard her with lame excuses and your date-worthiness goes down further. “Nothing pisses off a girl like waiting for her date. Others in the restaurant easily guess she’s waiting for somebody special, and don’t spare her curious glances. She will end up thinking you don’t value her enough, are irresponsible and not worthy of her attention,” says relationship expert Jai Madan.
Fix up: Always make an early exit from home, so that you have bonus time in your hand for tackling unprecedented situations. And if you still get late somehow, be honest, call her and explain the situation.

Be rude to the service staff
Pretend as if your uncle bought the place only last week, and you have total command over all the chaps there. Treat the waiter who’s serving you as a lowly creature, never thank him, and invent a tone that keeps him wondering what wrong the poor fellow did to you. Nothing will stop your date from thinking lowly of you and you won’t even make it to her best pals list, forget being her lover. “It goes to tell her what an egoist you are. The girl will think you can treat her the same way one day and will know how to maintain a distance from you,” says Madan.
Fix up: It’s quite simple — Treat others with respect and you will get back the same. You certainly don’t want to come across as a wretched soul pining for some attention.

DatingDo all the talking

Begin with the interesting circumstances of your birth, move on to the most difficult phases in you childhood to how you were a rockstar at the college to your accomplishment that left your parents gawking. And do tell her what you think about Kanimozhi and Salman Butt. Don’t give her a chance to ask questions or tell you what sort of a person she is. "Your date will think you’re trying to cover up for some flaw by talking so much. She may also conclude that you’re self centered and egoistic," says psychiatrist Dr Avdesh Sharma.

Fix up: You might have been an extempore champ in your college but it won’t work for a date. Talk with restrain, wait for the girl to ask questions, ask her about her likes and dislikes, and explore common grounds of interest. Dress up sloppily

Land up wearing your rugged
T-shirt, jeans that hang loosely over your hips, and your everyday slip-ons. You’re a cool dude and don’t need to dress up for a date. And your girl will surely make it clear you don’t deserve one! “Dressing sloppily only shows disrespect towards the other person, while on the other hand, if you make an effort to dress up nicely, put on some nice scent, set your hair, it shows you care,” says Madan.
Fix up: Wear something that’s semi-formal. Your shirt must be neatly tucked in and buttoned up. But don’t overdress — you’re not headed to a shaadi. Don’t wear things like chains, bracelets or a totally sheer shirt. They are nothing but tacky.

Mention your ex
Boy, that’s a rookie mistake, and there’s no saving you from this one. No girl likes to hear about your ex! No matter you tell her the good thing or the bad things about her, period. And those of you who thought telling her that your were hurt by that evil woman will earn you some sympathy points, listen to what Dr Sharma has to say, “It will only reflect that you’re not self-sufficient. The girl might also think you still haven’t gotten over your ex. It can put an end to a potential relationship.”
Fix up: Do not bring up your ex’s name when you’re all set to make a fresh start. Keep her out from the conversation completely.

Try to get cosy
Sit so close to her that she can count all your zit marks. Keep leaning towards her on some or the other pretext, don’t spare a chance to let your thighs brush wit hers and you’re doomed for sure. She will shower you with the same hatred she has for the neighbourhood uncle who’s always gazing at her bosom through his glasses. Dr Sharma says, “The girl will think all you want is to bed her.”
Fix up: Girls like decent guys. Don’t treat them like meat. Maintain a respectable distance to be in the safe zone.

First Published: Nov 05, 2011 17:39 IST