Give me a break, please! | sex and relationships | Hindustan Times
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Give me a break, please!

A relationship needs two committed people, if one doesn't want to be in it any more it's best to end, says Reema Gehi.

sex and relationships Updated: Aug 22, 2013 12:50 IST
Reema Gehi

"Can we be friends?" It's the dreaded four-word phrase but is a classic break-up line. But more often than not, this is not how it really happens.

Break-ups have always been complicated affairs. 20-year-old Aditya Rane has a sexist view. He cautions, "It affects the couple but girls are more sensitive than guys.

"They tend to take extreme steps.. sometimes they threaten us and even try to hurt themselves." To avoid all this, men often take a smart way out by throwing those convenient done-to-death lines.

Cliched lines "Why are you always misunderstanding me?" and "You don't care about me anymore," are some of the common lines. Anju Pariani, a 19-year-old, narrates her experience with a possessive boyfriend, who ultimately dropped her like a hot potato one day.

"He always craved for my attention. When I refused to play along, he gave me those clichéd and uninspiring lines.. something to the effect that I'd changed and that I don't love him anymore."

A visibly upset Anju continues, "He even gave me bizarre reasons like my friends didn't like him.. they hardly ever got a chance to meet him."

Lines like these are not uncommon when a fairy tale romance turns bitter. Preeti Shinde, a young professional's love story is supposedly a case of conflicting interests.

Feeling victimised He kept throwing those tried-andtested formula lines at her ran domly. The idea was to make her feel victimised, giving her the impression that she was to blame for the break-up between them.

She complains, "Duing the three years of our courtship, I was constantly reminded that I gave more importance to my work.. that we spend very little time together. "

According to her, it was always her fault, never his. She elaborates, "I felt very claustrophobic in the relationship. It was as if I was to blame for every little mishap.. even if it wasn't my fault. He even restricted my choice of clothes." This put her off completely.

She reasons, "I don't mean to sound like a feminist but situations like these compel me to talk like this.. I'm sure all women who've had chauvinistic boyfriends like my ex-boyfriend will vouch for this."

But it's not always women. There are instances when men too have been exposed to malicious behaviour from the opposite sex.

Sahil Seth, a 22-year-old, recalls, "Two years ago, I had a very nagging girlfriend in college. She called me whenever I was out with my friends or family."

Calling it quits Finally, he called it quits, after a year. "I told her that the relationship wasn't going anywhere.. I suggested we break-up. But she was impossible. She sent hate mails to my friends telling them to cut off their friendship with me.. she even addressed me by a few nasty names."

However, the trio till remains hopeful. Sahil says with an air of optimism, "This incident initially filled me with resentment but I feel positive now. I'm waiting for true love to come my way."

Many admit that breaking up is not easy.. the key is to do it in a mature way, without deliberate pain, so that both can move on.. and find someone more suitable.

A relationship really needs two committed people, if one doesn't want to be in it any more it's best to end it. That's the key message to get across while breaking up.