Sex and the city
Dr Kavan Lakdawala answers queries on sex, relationship and more.Updated: Feb 04, 2014 15:44 IST
We had a love marriage, and it’s been 19 years. But recently, my husband started travelling frequently for work, and I had sex with a friend. Now I feel guilty and want to confess to my husband. How will he react?
I don’t know; you have been with him all these years. Parting with your past is fraught with risk. Few men may have the courage to hear you out. Keeping your secrets to yourself is advisable. Till date, there are still no authentic tests to discover that you have indulged in sex with multiple partners.
I must, however, warn you that having unprotected sexual intercourse with multiple partners is one of the greatest risk factors for transmission of STDs, including HIV. The risk of unwanted pregnancy is always high following unprotected sex too. It would be better to use some form of contraception, like a condom. Avoid getting caught during your act or stick to masturbation.
I am a 65-year-old widower. My 46-year-old friend, wants to have sex with me. While I masturbate once in a while, I feel my organ is not strong enough. I want to take some safe medicines for a few weeks. Will our age barrier affect sex?
Age difference is not a factor for concern. As long as you can self-stimulate and ejaculate, you are sexually normal. The hardness of the penis is only in your head. With age, the force of ejaculation may reduce and time taken to achieve an erection may increase. You seem to have a phobia about penetrative sex. The fear of STDs or pregnancy may lead to mental conflicts.
Partner-specific impotence is a well-known entity. Relax and use some form of contraception, preferably a condom. Increase the duration of foreplay. Mutual masturbation, if agreed upon, is another option. Self-medication is a strict no-no.
We’ve been married for 14 years and have two kids. I feel my sex life has become dull over the last three months. I feel uninterested. What could be the reason? We’re both in our late 30s. My menstrual cycle is regular.
Fluctuation in the sexual desire is a rule rather than an exception. You may be passing through one of the low phases in your sex life. Get over your guilt. Are you afraid of unwanted pregnancy? Is privacy an issue? Do your children stress you out? Do you think financial or household issues are spoiling your mood? Do remember that a female is capable of getting multiple orgasms. Try better foreplay. You could request your husband to manually stimulate you to orgasm.
Mail your queries to
Dr Kavan Lakdawala at:
HT Media Limited, Indiabulls Finance Centre, Tower 3, 9th Floor, Senapati Bapat Marg, Elphinstone Road, Mumbai-4000013
READ: QUESTIONNARE ON SEX