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Sorry to say...

It is the most difficult thing to say, but makes all the difference. Dipti Satwani on how to say sorry to all those who matter.

sex and relationships Updated: Jun 21, 2008 19:23 IST
Dipti Satwani

So you messed up? Well, everyone does, at some point in their lives. But the daunting bit is apologising to those you've hurt. Just saying, "Sorry," is not enough. Sometimes it works wonders though.

Namrata Varma recalls a fight with her fiancé, She was on the verge of breaking up with him. He called persistently but she didn't take calls. The next morning, he sent her a gift with an apology letter, regretting his behaviour.

Better communication
Varma says, "When I reached office, I found a bouquet of flowers on my desk. And the flowers kept coming in every hour. Finally, when he picked me up from my office in the evening, my anger had evaporated. He took me out for dinner, we had one of our best times together."

As a teenager, Dishant Tagore had a turbulent relationship with his parents. He recalls his fight with his mother during one of their frequent screaming bouts.

"One day, things went too far. I told her many things that I didn't really mean. She was extremely upset. Lat er, I felt horrible. She stopped talking to me. I put up with her cold behaviour for a few days."

He saved his pocket money and bought her a beautiful sari and her favourite sweets. He left them at her bedside one morning, with a note, "I'm sorry."

She was touched and surprised by his gesture. He says, "We talked things over. Since then our communication has improved." So touching Anusha Savnani considers an apology incomplete if things are not sorted out. Once, her closest friend's steady date became the subject of a heated quarrel. Over time, the friend discovered that Anusha hadn't been lying.

She went over to Anusha's house, with apology cards and a tub of her favourite ice cream. Anusha adds, "She was teary-eyed when she asked me for forgiveness for not trusting me. We had a heart-to-heart talk. She promised not to behave so foolishly, ever again."

Hufriya Batliwalla believes that an apology should be well expressed.

"I was upset when my husband forgot our wedding anniversary. He bought me lots of gifts to make up for the lapse. But it didn't make a difference to me. He wrote a poem to plead forgiveness and express how much I meant to him."

That touched Hufriya and she forgave him. She's kept the poem as if it were a precious jewel.

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