Wanna know if you are his No.1?
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Wanna know if you are his No.1?

Sometimes it’s not the proclamations of love or the dozen red roses that say “I love you”. There are these oh-so-subtle ways to tell if you and your man are on the same page.

sex and relationships Updated: Jun 25, 2009 12:57 IST

Sometimes it’s not the proclamations of love or the dozen red roses that say “I love you”. Body language is the secret, powerful method of communication through which we communicate more than half of what we actually mean.

There are these oh-so-subtle ways to tell if you and your man are on the same page. And Element X takes a volte face and gives the ladies a chance to get back at the men!

1. While watching TV
Understandably, you can’t tear your eyes away from McSteamy on Grey’s Anatomy but notice all of your man’s subtle body cues. Is his arm around you in a protective gesture? That means he wants to take care of you. He clasps your hand while interlacing fingers, it shows that he wants to have an intimate connection.

2. While you’re with his friends
If his arm is around your shoulders, he’s signalling to his friends and other males around that you belong to him in a gesture that brings out the caveman in him. If it’s around your waist, he is telling them that you are a keeper.

3. When you’re at his place
Guys are natural slobs with a few exceptions. Only in movies do bachelor pads have perfectly coordinated furniture and scented candles. In reality, the main attraction at a bachelor pad is the beer can pyramid. So if he makes an effort to clear up the mess in his room, then he’s decided you’re worth the once-a-year spring cleaning he gives his room. He might stop doing this after a while which only shows he’s comfortable enough with you to be himself. The ultimate sign that he has white picket fences in mind is if he lets you leave your random girlie objects around the house, and no, toothbrush doesn’t count. That is mostly regarded as an essential part of oral hygiene. But if he’s okay with your pink yoga mat in the living room or your mirror cushions on the bed, pat yourself on the back, you’re in!

4. When you’re at dinner
Your filet mignon may be delicious but keep your eyes peeled to check cues that your guy is in it for the long haul. As Joey from ‘Friends’ may tell you, guys don’t like sharing food. What’s on their plate is theirs, so don’t you dare even try and flick a fry. But if your man is willing to share his plate with you or offers you a bite, he is opening up his personal space to you and wants to be intimate. Alternately, if he starts moving his plates and glasses around, he’s trying to reduce the space between you both and wants to get closer.

5. When it’s just you and him
In the early stages of love, neither partner can keep their hands off the other. But whatever the stage, if he likes to hold you with his arms around you, hands resting on your belly, then he’s subconsciously decided that you are the mother to his children. Another show of love when you’re together is how he falls asleep. Once he’s in a deep slumber, he instinctively either moves toward you or moves away, claiming his space at his end of the bed. It doesn’t take a genius to figure this one out. Also, if he reaches for you the minute he gets up, it literally means you’re the first thing on his mind when he wakes up!

6. When you’re with your friends
He knows your girls mean the world to you, so if he makes an effort to get along with them (and their boyfriends), it shows he wants to be a part of your life. But let the warning bells clang if he gets too close to one of them and asks too many questions about them. That’s a sign to dump him immediately.

7. When you’re apart
If he rings you a hundred times a day for no apparent reason, you can tell that he wishes he was with you physically right at that moment. The next best alternative being “checking in” with you, to see what you’re up to, every other hour. Now we also have another reason to be grateful to text messaging, to tell what level our guy is at! If he sends you long mushy messages, he’s infatuated and still in that early mush stage, but if he sends you a short and sweet “I luv u” or a “whr r u” even after you guys have been seeing each other for a while, you’re the one for him.

8. While posing for pictures
Why is it that we try to smile radiantly into a camera making sure it’s on our “good side”? Because we know that photographs are permanent evidence which cannot be deleted. So take out the pictures from your last getaway weekend and examine it closely. If he has his body angled toward yours and feet pointing toward you, then you two are completely in tune. Also notice if he has his arm around you in a possessive gesture. To do this in a photograph is his way of telling you that you’re for keeps. If he’s not very into you, he’ll move away or at least keep a bit of “safe distance” between the both of you.

9. When having an argument
Every couple has fights, it’s how you fight that determines whether you’re going to be a passing fad or an enduring trend. If your man is willing to listen to your side of the story and consider your opinion, it shows that he’s trying to make it work. Anyone who gives up after a fight is not just a quitter, he doesn’t believe that what you have is long term. If he is willing to talk it out instead of just storming out, he needs you just as much as you need him.

10. When you’re in conversation
Does he look deep into your eyes? As corny as it sounds, this is the biggest pointer that actually reveals whether you mean the world to him as it shows he wants to listen to what you have to say. If he can maintain eye contact for only a short while, it doesn’t mean he’s not trustworthy but simply put, you impress him. But if he has shifty eyes and seems uninterested, then he’s not really interested in what you have to say but in other non-verbal activities. If his eyelids are dilated, it means that he is, quite frankly, mesmerised by you. Whether forever or just for the time being, well, that’s the next question.

First Published: Jun 24, 2009 20:50 IST